Billi Pod’s Trip To “Out There.”

OK, my loyal and faithful readers, let’s start this beautiful Big Apple morning with details on my afternoon trek into the wilderness of one of the outer-outer boroughs of The Greatest City In The World.

As I posted yesterday, the purpose of this “event” is to visit and have face-time with my young friends Ben and Justin in their relatively new pad. I have received numerous invitations from them, which I have heretofore declined because of concerns about my personal safety and unanswered questions about why they were so insistent that I come way "out there."

Well, earlier in the week John Scott Reed entered into the scenario. How, you are no doubt breathlessly asking? Well, he challenged me, saying that I had neither the strength, courage, fortitude nor balls to make such a demanding trip. That did it, of course, and I immediately accepted the next invitation, which is for this afternoon.

The trip required much advance preparation and I spent a good part of yesterday taking care of things like updating my Last Will and Testament, getting my visa stamped (had to pay the usual bribe to the local ambassador) and updating my immunization chart at a neighborhood walk-in clinic.

Interesting thing about that - when I told the Dr. where I was going he required me to leave a DNA swab. He also required me to pay cash for his services, he would not accept a credit card.

Last night I received directions from Ben & Justin, which I will now share with you, in the exact, unedited and kinda creepy details:

“Directions: A train to 14th Street; L train 34 stops to checkpoint Charlie; Q train to Oasis Station; shuttle bus to border security terminal; clear passport control; and, then walk 5.75 miles to:

The Crypts on Irving

666 Elderly Street, Apt 66

Bushdick, Brooklyn 98765-4321

Signed: Justin Heifer and Ben Beers”

I understand there is no telephone service, landline or cell, in this area.

So, there you have it. I will leave PHC around 1:00pm

I do ask that if 2 days pass without a posting on this blog or on my FaceBook Wall that someone please call the Missing Persons Bureau of the NYC Police Department: 212-434-3434

Now on to a few other things --

Last night’s THE OTHER PLACE==>A<==even though the theme of beginning dementia was extremely unsettling. Laurie Metcalf was excellent. Yes, see it!

On the assumption that I will return from Somalia, my entertainment event for tonight is --

8:15==>PLAY NICE - “Isabelle, Luce and Matilda spend most of their days hiding from their abusive mother in the attic. On Thanksgiving, Mother was poisoned. She is now on her way home from the hospital, and the children fear her wrath as she determines which child tried to kill her. Will their power of imagination, the most valuable weapon in their arsenal, be enough to cope with the Dragon Queen? (Off-Broadway - complimentary ticket)

Ah yes, another dysfunctional family. It is playing at the 59th Street Theater.

OK, my loyal and faithful readers, Billi Pod still has things to do for his trip, so ...

GO GATORS AND GO YANKEES!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”