Thursday - The Vice-Presidental Debate

As most of you faithful and loyal readers know, I spend almost 75% of my waking time searching the print news and online sources for vital information to share with you so that you may be privy to the intricacies of modern-day life. This is an emotionally draining task, especially when I uncover important information that has been overlooked by the mainstream media, the so-called journalistic elite. But, when I find “important stuff” and share it with you, it becomes worth the time, effort and emotions. As I have long said - “Nothing is too much for YOU!!”

I recently found two extremely news-worthy items, one relating to tonight’s debate between Sarah Palin and Joe Biden and the other about Palin’s family history. This is information you need to have so you can become better informed voters. So, here it is:

RULES OF THE VICE PRESIDENTIAL DEBATE

1. Candidates will be cued to enter as the laser light show subsides, and should be on stage no later than the intro guitar riff to “We Are the World.”

2. Questions will only be asked about Alaska.

3. No reflecting light from watch into opponent’s eyes.

4. Each answer requires one piece of fluff or filler but cannot contain more than three.

5. Dan Quayle has no relevance.

6. References to Jesus or “God’s Will” limited to answers to questions about the economy, health care, education, and urban crime.

7. Candidates are forbidden from telling moving anecdotes about [insert name] of [insert city and state], who has three children and was laid off last May.

8. The first candidate to reach seven sound bites wins.

9. Everybody goes home with a PBS National Debate Participation Certificate.

Source: Confidential (thought to be Karl Rove)

And now the breaking Sarah Palin family news item:

“PALIN UNVEILS 9/11 FIREFIGHTER COUSIN, REFORMED LESBIAN NIECE, AND NATURALIZED MEXICAN HALF BROTHER

CARBONDALE, PA - A month after introducing to the nation her developmentally disabled newborn and the 19-year-old son preparing for military service in Iraq, Republican vice presidential nominee and conservative Christian woman Sarah Palin delivered a speech Monday flanked by three heretofore-unknown relatives, including a naturalized Mexican half brother, a formerly lesbian niece, and a New York City firefighter cousin who saved several lives during the 9/11 World Trade Center attacks. “John McCain and I will take on the Washington establishment and give the government back to the people,” said Palin, who several times gave the “thumbs-up” sign to her African-American coal-miner uncle seated in the audience. “We envision a better and brighter future for hardworking, selfless Americans like Ted, Anne, and Guillermo here.” Palin has a campaign stop scheduled next week in Texas, where she is expected to introduce her stepsister Linda, who, it is reported, usually appears with a $35 barrel of offshore-drilled crude oil wrapped in an American flag.”

Source: Fox News and The Onion, Vol 44, Issue 40.

So there you are my loyal and faithful readers. As I have said so many time - I report and you decide.

Billi Pod aka The Fair and Unbiased Reporter
wanjr@aol.com