Billi Pod Is A KLUTZ!!

You know, my loyal and faithful readers==>Billi Pod is nothing more than a 100% KLUTZ, it is as simple as that.

What am I talking about, you are no doubt breathlessly asking out there in the hinterlands and boondocks? Well ... here goes ... you remember about a week ago I posted that I had ordered some metal frames for the remaining 3 paintings that I had shipped up here from my Bartow storage area. When I ordered them via the internet I knew they would have to be assembled. No big deal.

The stuff arrived early this morning ... and ... thought I ... no problemo ... right ... all I had to do was: put together 3 frames (9 x 12, 20 x 24, and 24 x 30); put the paintings into the frames; attach the hanging thingy on the back of every frame; and, then just hang the paintings on the hangers I had already nailed into the walls. No big deal ... right ... it should take no longer than ... say ... about 30 minutes ... right??

Wrong!! Without boring you loyal and faithful readers with too many more details ... let me just say that: (1) directions are included for a reason (2) I never follow directions in putting things together (3) going back and starting over sucks (4) and, I am a total 100% KLUTZ!! with the finger dexterity of a 6 month old baby. F**K!!

What should have been a 30-45 minute project took over 3 hours ... but ... at least it finally got done ... but ... I hate being such a f**king klutz. The paintings do look good in their new frames and on the walls in PHC. Glad it is done.

Now, on to more important things ... like ...

Last night’s concert, REFLECTIONS OF LIFE WITH SPECIAL GUEST CLAY AIKEN @ Carnegie Hall, was wonderful. My seat was in the 3rd level, front row, a bit to the side. OK.

The first half was the world premiere of a 45 minute work called “Flowers Over The Graves of War,” performed with a full orchestra and a 150 person chorus. It was very moving.

The second half was even more interesting and featured Clay Aiken, who didn’t sing, but instead narrated a series of works which were “a reflection on the power of song” in the lives of children. There was the same orchestra but a new chorus, this time with 200+ members on stage plus another 100+ members singing from the upper tiers of the Hall. It was fantastic and that is putting it mildly.

The picture is one I took just before the second half began.

It was a wonderful evening’s entertainment and I left Carnegie Hall with a smile on my face. Would definitely have walked back to PHC had the weather not been freezing cold.

Billi Pod’s entertainment event for tonight is ...

7:00==>CALL ME WALDO - “Extraordinary things happen when an ordinary electrician begins channeling the spirit of Ralph Waldo Emerson. A warmhearted comedy about an average guy experiencing a mid-life crisis.” (Off Broadway - complimentary ticket).

I think this sounds very interesting and one of my favorite actors, Brian Dykstra, is in the cast.

Oh, AJ Burnett aka Loser Boi is now trying to blame his dismal tenure with The Bronx Bombers because ..."I let too many people tinker with me." Really?? How about it was because you basically sucked you scumbag Loser Boi.

Still have a few things and stuff to do left over from yesterday ... so ... I will close with a question that has to have occurred to many of you computer nerds/geeks ...

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

ALEX-182

Sooooo Sorry About The Spam!!

Soooooooo sorry about the spam emails everyone is getting from my AOL account.

Thought I had the problem solved and then this morning was another batch. AOL and I are now working on it and hopefully all soon will be taken care of and Billi Pod’s cyberspace world will be back to normal.

Actually, not sure that the use of the word “normal” can ever apply to Billi Pod, but you loyal and faithful readers know and understand what I mean ... I hope ...

It has been very very frustrating and it is the first time anything like this has ever happened to me.

Anyway ... now on to more productive and interesting things like ...

Last night’s benefit show, TWENTY ONE SONG SALUTE, was very very bland and that is giving it the benefit of the doubt.

Neither Tom Wopat nor Debra Monk performed and that was a downer. No reason was given.

My comp. seat was in the upper section of the venue but it wasn’t too bad. The evening was saved because I was seated next to my friend Michael Pederson and that was nice because it gave us time to do some catching up on things and stuff.

Tonight’s entertainment event is ...

8:00==>SEMINAR - “Four aspiring, young novelists sign up for private writing classes with Leonard (Alan Rickman), an international literary figure. They came for a class in writing and got a lesson in survival.” (Broadway - discounted TDF ticket)

All of my theater friends who have seen this show, still in previews, have liked it. It was originally on my schedule for the time I ended up down in Florida. John Scott Reed used my ticket.

Well, the reviews for GODSPELL are now in and the majority have been negative, but most of the negative reviews have a caveat that the show may still be a hit, especially with younger theatergoers.

Almost all were either negative or neutral on Hunter Parrish in the role of Jesus and, frankly, I think in that regard they were basically unfair and/or biased. When I saw the show I thought he did a fine job and the roaring audience seemed to agree.

Billi Pod predicts that the show will have a decent run, nit-picking critics be damned!!

Now on to other stuff ... like ...

Billi Pod has made a promise with himself about tomorrow. What is it, you are no doubt breathlessly asking? Well ... here it is in its entirety ...

“Self ... you are going to see MONEYBALL while it is still playing in Manhattan theaters. The number of show times at the neighborhood house is now down to 3, so get at it.”

So, despite what might come up on my ticket services etc tomorrow==>Billi Pod will see MONEYBALL. It Is So Ordered!!

GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

ALEX-76

A Rant and Then My Review of The Magdalene

LISTEN UP PEOPLE!!

Before being caught up in the hysteria regarding the verdict in the Casey Anthony case, remember this ...

“The defendant is presumed to be innocent and the burden of proof is on the State to prove the defendant’s guilt beyond and to the exclusion of every reasonable doubt. If the State fails in that burden it is the jury’s sworn duty to return a verdict of not guilty.”

Do you want to change this?

I THINK NOT!!

Now, on to some other things and stuff ... like ...

Billi Pod’s report card on last night’s THE MAGDALENE==>C<==it just didn’t work for me. The musical reimagines the famous biblical prostitute as Jesus’ wife and an Apostle.

I wanted to like it and thought that I would because I like Jesus Christ Superstar and Godspell ... but I didn’t. Not completely certain why I didn’t like it, but I just didn’t ... oh well ...

The cast is excellent, however, especially Lindsie Van Winkle in the role of Mary.

When the show was over I came back to PHC and watched the last innings of the Yankees/Indians game. The Yankees got a so-so performance from the returning Phil Hughes and lost 5-3. They are now tied again with The FuckSox for first place in the AL East.

Jeter got a hit and now needs only 3 more to reach 3,000. Derek ... please do it when Billi Pod is in Yankee Stadium, The House That Greed and Ego Built. Please!!

Billi Pod’s entertainment event for tonight is ... tada ...

7:05==>YANKEES/TAMPA BAY with Bartolo Colon on the mound. Billi Pod has tickets for tonight and Saturday afternoon.

Hot, hazy and humid again today. I guess summer is officially here, finally.

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Billi Pod Has A Rant==>Natural Wireless Beware!!

It is snowing rather heavily this morning in The Big Apple, The Greatest City In The World, but Billi Pod is not going to rant and rave about that, rather about ...

The crumby WiFi service in my building provided by Natural Wireless. On Monday night around midnight the service went down. Not the first time either. I called tech services (24/7 - they say) and after a very long hold got a recorded message that they were experiencing “service difficulties.”

Well, when I got up Tuesday morning the service had been restored but then again last night, around midnight, the service went down. Man, was Billi Pod pissed.

I again called tech services and after holding for 15 minutes finally left a rather nasty voicemail.

Guess what? At 8:30, no service, but an email (read on my iPhone using its 3G service) apologizing for the “inconvenience.” Around 10:30 service was restored.

Now, this is not a free service provided by the building, rather it is made available for a monthly fee, which is actually very reasonable.

What has Billi Pod upset is the unreliability and that is the reason for this rant. Be warned Natural Wireless, if you go down tonight you will incur Billi Pod’s awesome and internationally known wraith. You are warned!!

Now on to something more positive, like ...

Billi Pod’s report card on last nite’s concert by the

BUDAPEST FESTIVAL ORCHESTRA==>A<==for a very very enjoyable evening, highlighted by the final number, Stravinsky’s Rite of Spring. My discounted TDF ticket was also excellent, in the orchestra, row P, seat 10.

Tonight’s entertainment event is --

8:00==>THE ROAD TO QATAR! - “Two American ‘short Jewish writers’ are commissioned to write a mega-musical for the Emir of Qatar, including 100 actors, 40 camels, 17 fire-eating jugglers and Mohammed Ali.” (Off-Broadway - discounted TDF ticket)

Advance buzz for this musical comedy is very good. It is playing at The York Theatre in the basement of the CitiCorp building in Midtown East, meaning getting there will require minimal exposure to the elements.

Billi Pod is a financial supporter of this theater group and it is one of his favorite venues.

BREAKING NEWS==> Yesterday Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman dropped the bomb that most Yankee fans knew was coming - he openly discussed the “possibility/probability” that Derek Jeter would be moved from shortstop to centerfield.

As might be expected this set off a firestorm in the local papers --

“CENTER STAGE: Cashman - Jeter could catch on in OF” - New York Post

“THE DEREK DEBATE: Cashman stirs talk of Jeter switch to OF” - The Daily News

“Cashman’s Future Bet: Jeter to Center” - New York Times

Oh the drama!!

Well, my loyal and faithful readers, despite my warnings against any snarky responses to yesterday’s posting about living in the Northeast during the Winter rather than somewhere warmer, I did get several smartass emails and texts ... well ... here is Billi Pod’s reply (and, no, it won’t be GO F**K YOURSELF), briefly ...

It is Winter in NYC, nonetheless, over the upcoming 25 days, Billi Pod has already, yes, already, scheduled/booked the following entertainment events: 3 Broadway shows; 9 Off-Broadway shows; 4 classical music concerts; and, 1 comedy show. And you know, don’t you, that the unfilled dates will soon be booked.

Now, honestly, tell me where “out there” could I have the equivalent entertainment events available to me? Hummmmmmmmm ... I’m waiting ... Hummmmmmmmmmmm ... still waiting ... Hummmmmmmmmm ... I thought so ... CASE CLOSED!!

And, speaking of closing, let me do so with ...

Musings from THE MIND OF BILLI POD (a memoir in progress):

“My mind cannot handle rap music and gummy-bears at the same time.”

GO GATORS AND GO YANKEES!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Saturday = Blah!!

As the time drew nearer for me to head out to Yankee Stadium for Game 6 of the ALCS the weather got nastier and nastier but did this stop Billi Pod? You loyal and faithful readers know the answer to that question - “No, of course it didn’t” - even though it was raining pretty heavily in Midtown.

I dressed warmly and headed out at 6:45, after sending Grandson Topher a text message to check his email regarding his assignment to keep me up-to-date on the Gator/Mississippi State game, via texts.

I got pretty wet just walking the block and a half to the Port Authority to catch the uptown A train (an express). I get off at 145th Street, where I then transfer to the D train to 161st Street in The Bronx and Yankee Stadium. I made excellent time.

Got to the 161st Street station in The Bronx at 7:15. As the rather anxious and somber looking crowd was headed up and out of the station we were told by an MTA employee that the game had been postponed until tomorrow. I actually didn’t get out of the station but was told that it was really raining hard.

About all I could think of as I retraced my steps back to the platform was that if it had to be postponed I was glad “they” called it early-on rather than having us wait for a couple of hours and then calling it, as “they” are want to do.

Tomorrow is supposed to be a typical fall day and no rain is in the forecast. I will be there for the game.

It was about 8:15 when I got back to PHC where I immediately took off my wet clothes and turned on the TV to watch the rest of the Gator game.

I have to tell you that the game did absolutely nothing to bolster my spirits. Yes, I know that a win is a win and the Gators are now 7-0 but they didn’t look anything like what you expect from the Number 1 team in the country. And, Tebow’s 2 interceptions returned for TDs probably took him out of the running for another Heisman.

I don’t want to rant too much but it seems to me that the Gator offense lacks the killer mentality that last year’s team displayed. Oh, the defense is outstanding, Thank God, but the offense often seems to be almost sleepwalking. Hey Offense Guys - there is no such thing as “entitlement” in college football, you gotta earn everything in every game and if you don’t understand this, then some Podunk program like Mississippi State or South Carolina etc is gonna sneak up on you and shit all over your plans/dreams for another National Championship. Now, dammit, get with the program and play like mean angry Gators!! And, I/we mean it!!

Whew - I feel somewhat better.

Go Yankees and Go Gators!!

Billi Pod

“Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.”

Beware and Be Alert. You are Warned!!

Good afternoon my loyal and faithful readers. I hope each of you and your families and friends had a wonderful weekend, I know that I certainly did, and I will post about that later on.

First of all, however, I want to call your attention to one of the dangers of the internet and the potential for loss of freedom that occurs occasionally to those of us bloggers who are willing to share our experiences and thoughts etc. with the world out there in cyberspace.

What am I talking about you are doubtlessly breathlessly asking? Well, this is it for those of us living in The Greatest City in The World -- there is a government-supported agency who monitors blogs such as mine in order to intrude on our daily comings and goings. This is the complete text of an email I received last week:

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Dear Sir:

It has come to the attention of the "So He Thinks He Can Call Himself A New Yorker" committee than no session of the U.S. Open Tennis is included in your current schedule. In particular a Night session. Please rectify this situation immediately and re-submit your application to us. Thank you.

MFPCB chairperson”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

OMG!! I was stunned by this email for several reasons: (1) I had no clue what MFPCB stands for; (2) Why was a government agency monitoring my blog; and, (3) I had already filed the necessary disclaimer papers with City Hall.

Double OMG!! Was this an indication of a return to the Rudy Giuliani era??

I immediately shot off the following email response --

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Dear Sir or Madam:

Thank you for calling this “alleged” omission to my attention but I need to remind you of the provisions of Section 235(2)(z)iii which states: “If attending an event is likely to cause the attendee to experience discomfort akin to self-circumcision or a root-canal without anesthesia then the attendee may opt not to participate after filing a NOTIFICATION OF NON-PARTICIPATION." I have previously done this regarding any and all events tennis in nature.

Thank you so very much, however, for your concern.

Billi Pod”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I would have thought that this response would have ended it, but did it? No. Their “Chairperson” sent the following snarky response --

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“Okay but did you have to rain out the final weekend of The Open?

XOXO The Committee”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I guess the bottom line is, my loyal and faithful readers, you never know when and where big government is lurking, so beware. But, never fear - Billi Pod will continue to write about things and stuff in The Big Apple on a fair and impartial basis. I will report and you, dear readers, will have to decide.

Much more to report later.

Go Yankees and Go Gators!!!

Billi Pod

“Don't pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.”

Men vs. Women - a biased report

In the name of fair and impartial reporting I have to share with you, my loyal and faithful readers, something that is making the internet rounds, obviously written and circulated by the Feminazi crowd who are still having problems dealing with the inherent differences between males and females. This is it:



He said . . . I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said .. . You wear pants don't you?

He said .. . .Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . . That's a good idea - you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.

He said . . .. What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

On a wall in a ladies room . .. "My husband follows me everywhere."
Written just below it, "I do not."

Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.

Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.

Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.

Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.

Q How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know; it has never happened.

Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.

Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.

Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.

Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."

Even though my responsibility is to report and then leave it to you well-educated and unbiased readers to form your own opinion(s), I do feel it is appropriate for me, just this once, to make the following "personal" observation:

With that, I still only report - you decide.

Billi Pod

Saturday - Yankees - I Am Not Alone

The following story appeared in Saturday’s Daily News --
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

“ WE’RE GETTING YANKED OVER TIX, CRY BOMBERS FANS

The Yankees are getting a new stadium but some of their most loyal fans are getting the shaft.

Hundreds of full and partial season ticket holders got word yesterday they aren’t getting the seats - or packages - they requested in the Bombers’ new digs. And that’s breaking their pinstriped hearts.

‘It’s so sad what they’re doing to the fans,’ said Marie Wallace, a partial-season ticket holder since 1996 who would fly up from Florida to see her favorite team play.

“I wanted to have seats comparable to what I had before, near the first base line. They told me I was high on the list. Then they put me in these horrible seats by the foul pole line and told me I should be grateful.’

A Brooklyn fan, who asked to remain anonymous because he’s still trying to snag season tickets, said he, too, didn’t get the seats he asked for.

‘These are the real Yankee fans,’ he said. ‘They’ll bend over backwards for the big corporations, but not for regular guys like me.’ Another disappointed fan - a partial-season ticket holder - said he was prepared to shell out more dough for the worse seats because he loves the Yankees and he knows a new stadium means higher prices.

‘I specifically requested a weekend package because that’s what I had before and that’s when I can see the games,’ he said. ‘They offered me a weekday package and basically said take it or leave it.’

There were similar laments on Yankees fans’ websites.

‘I have been a Yankee fan since I could say Mickey Mantle,’ wrote a fan named Johozak, who had seats above the Yankees dugout in the old stadium but was priced out of the new park. ‘Looks like I will be watching games at home.’

Another fan using the handle Three-generationalofyankeefans said he couldn’t have been clearer about what seats he wanted - and when he wanted them.

‘My Saturday plan is now a weekday 12-game plan,’ he wrote. ‘I had been behind home plate and now I am past third base.’

A spokesman for the Yankees said he was not prepared to comment on the furor.”
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

So, it appears that I am not the only one who is pissed with the Yankee front office.

Just a couple of other observations - I do have an understanding of why all of this is happening and it is about - tada - the money. The Yankee brass knows that people who buy tickets for individual games almost always spend more money at the game than do we season ticket holders. I am a prime example - I don’t spend any money at a game. I sometimes will fork over $4.50 for a bottle of water, but that is it.

Also a lot of season ticket holders take advantage of the rather liberal policy of permitting food to be brought into the stadium, so long as it is packed in a clear plastic bag. Bottles and/or cans were not permitted.

I don’t know if this policy is being carried over to the new stadium. If it is, I have a gut feeling that it will be phased out in order to increases onsite food sales.

Another observation - the Yankees have an “arrangement” with StubHub regarding re-sale of individual tickets. We are “encouraged” to use them to sell tickets that cannot be used, for whatever reason. My gut tells me that even though there is an exchange policy in place, the availability of tickets for exchange will be virtually nonexistent, so our alternative will be to eat the ticket, or ... tada again -- use StubHub.

These and other “business” decisions place us in the conundrum of loving the team but hating the management.

Oh well, I have vented enough. I still can hardly wait for the season to begin, so ...

Go Yankees!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

Rant - I f**king HATE tech manuals - they suck!!

OK, I gotta rant a bit about things and stuff, mostly about the virtually indecipherable manuals that are packed with various technological devices.

What am I talking about, you ask? Well, my loyal and faithful readers (who, ahem, have been strangely silent lately), this is what I mean ...

This Christmas I was given two state-of-the-art thingys ... a new digital camera from my son Bill and a digital picture frame from my daughter Kathi.

First, the camera - Olympus Stylus 1010, with: 10.1 mega pixels; 7x optical zoom; 2.7” LCD monitor; double stabilization; face detection; shadow adjustment; perfect shot preview; in-camera help; in-camera panorama; and, an 83 PAGE INSTRUCTION MANUAL

The instruction manual, all 83 fucking pages, has print so small that you really need a magnifying glass to read it. When you open the manual you find a “Quick Start Guide” so your first reaction is ... hey, this is gonna be easy, right? I mean, it says “Quick Start Guide,” right?... Then you notice that the so-called “Quick Start Guide” is 15.5 pages of material so draconian in nature that Einstein would have been baffled.

But, on I go, by first unpacking the rest of the box and placing the camera, camera strap, lithium Ion battery, battery charger, USB cable, AV cable, and Olympus Master 2 CD-ROM in front of me on a table. I pick up the manual and begin. Then I notice that I must first charge the Lithium Ion battery (specially designed for this camera only), and it will take at least 2 hours. Fuck!!

Oh well, what can I do, right? I figure out how to place the battery in the charger and plug the charger into an electrical outlet. I will read the “Quick Start Guide” while I wait for the battery to be charged. So I sit on the couch and start reading and ... 90 minutes later I wake up with the “Quick Start Guide” on my chest and drool coming down the side of my face. OMG!!

Everything goes back into the box. Since then, on 3 different occasions, I have braved the “Quick Start Guide” with about the same results, and as those of you loyal and faithful readers who are members of my family know ... Billi Pod rarely naps under any circumstance.

To make matters worse - I am the world’s worst follower of written instructions and have been so since I was a little boy trying to make model airplanes from scratch. Never was able to finish a single one, never ever.

Will I ever get this wonderful device up and running? Yes, but only because I am not satisfied with the camera function on my iPhone.

Now about the other techno-thingy - the digital picture frame --

Sony S-Frame DPF-D70 - stores 500 images to a 7” diagonal display, featuring: auto orientation sensor; 256MB internal memory; direct card slot; and 800 x 480 pixels.

And, the instruction manual for this nice thingy is a mere 46 PAGES, also of very small print. In many aspects this manual is filled with more techno-babble than the camera manual, mostly involving the process of transferring pics from other storage devices/sources.

I have to admit that all I have done to get this thingy up and running is read the first 5 pages of the manual. My priorities will be to get the camera going first and then the frame.

Well, I kinda feel better. At least I have something to do while waiting for the BCS game on Thursday and/or when it snows and/or when I need to go to sleep quickly.

On to other things - this is what the next 7 days look like --

Tonight at 7:30 is a New York Philharmonic concert @ Lincoln Center. The program is: Bach’s Brandenburg Concerto No. 2; Strauss’s Burleske for Piano featuring Emanuel Ax; Szymanowski’s Symphony No. 4; and, Mussuorgsky/Ravel’s Pictures at an Exhibition. (subscription series)

Wednesday - 9:00am - annual sit-down appointment with my cardiologist Dr. Fred Feuerbach. He will determine if I need any tests or anything like that. This is a routine appointment. I haven’t been experiencing any problems.

8:00 - “Home” - Off Broadway. “Home is a wonderfully theatrical tale of one man's struggle to stay true to himself amidst a rapidly changing and turbulent America. Leaving behind his family's farm in North Carolina, Cephus Miles seeks refuge and prosperity in the North. Three actors portray more than twenty-five characters over the course of Cephus's epic journey from adolescence to adulthood, spanning the 1950's through the Vietnam War and Civil Rights eras.” (complimentary ticket).

Thursday - in the morning I will have blood work (for a PSA) and a urinalysis in preparation for my semi-annual appointment with my urologist on January 13th. Again, this is a routine appointment - I haven’t been experiencing any problems.

8:00 - BCS Championship Game. The Gators will kick butt!!

Friday - 3:00 - “For Lovers Only” - Off Broadway. “Five Broadway actors, two pianos, 100 love songs! Joyous, moving, funny, smile-inducing, tear-inducing and just the right mix for the start of a new year. This is a fully staged, off book performance of a work in progress. Love is a Many Splendored Thing, Always, 'Swonderful, All the Things You Are, You're the Top, Moon River are among the 100 songs performed.” (complimentary ticket).

10:30 - “Too Much Light Makes the Baby Go Blind” - Off Broadway. “This show is an ever changing attempt to perform 30 original plays in 60 minutes. Off of sold out performances in Chicago since the Reagan era, Too Much Light... invaded New York and has continued to entertain late night audiences around the boroughs with its critically acclaimed energetic show of random original short plays. For each performance the audience chooses the order and the New York Neo-Futurists create a non-illusory collage of the comic and tragic, the political and personal, and the visceral and experimental while embracing chance, change and possibly a little chaos. (complimentary ticket)

Hey, I know that these are strange times, but, come on folks - remember, this is New York City, not Norman, Oklahoma.

Saturday - open at the moment.

Sunday - 7:00 - “LIGA, 50% reward & 50% punishment” - Off Broadway. This is the press blurb for the show being performed at the renowned Public Theater: “LIGA starts with the end. On a video we see how the highs and lows of the just-completed performance are re-lived as the actors enthusiastically congratulate and console each other. A live "flashback" follows as the actors begin to perform their play. We observe five characters. Young and easily influenced, the human need to conform makes them susceptible to manipulation. With rapid speed they learn how to please and how "to pretend." Meanwhile, the audience is left wondering just what kind of performance these characters are learning to give.” (complimentary ticket).

Without a doubt this will be a “love-it or hate-it” show for moi.

Monday - open at the moment.

Tuesday - 7:15 - “Terre Haute” -Off Broadway. “A famous author comes face-to-face with America's most notorious terrorist. As the clock ticks on death row, the bond between the two men grows. A scorching new play inspired by Gore Vidal's famous essays on Oklahoma bomber Timothy McVeigh.” (discounted TDF ticket).

Go Gators!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

All Politicians Are Whores

Yes, I know that is a strong statement but before you tune me out, read my credentials and then judge --

I held my first elective office in the 7th grade and held other offices during high school, including a statewide office for Key Club International. As an undergraduate I was chairman of a campus political party. After graduation I was on the staff of a successful campaign for Governor of Florida and then served as an Administrative Assistant on the Governor’s staff.

In law school I was chairman of the student bar association and then after law school I become General Counsel to the Governor. Later I served on the campaign staff for an unsuccessful run for US Senate.

Before becoming a judge I was a lobbyist for the Florida citrus industry and as a judge I was elected Chief Judge for 3 terms and served as Chairman of the State Judicial Conference.

OK, enough about me - I just wanted to establish that I have experience being and dealing with politicians, and yes, I have worn the mantel of Whoredom myself, more times than I would like to admit.

So, you ask, what the fuck am I talking about? I am talking about Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s ploy to change term limits so he can run for a third term, that’s what. He is seeking a vote by the New York City Counsel to do just that. Now, don’t get me wrong, I think he has done an outstanding job in the extremely difficult position as Mayor of the Greatest City in the World and I recognize that these are difficult, even scary, times. Rudy Giuliani made the same argument after 9/11/2001, but, ultimately no action was taken.

For the most part politicians are for term limits so long as the limits don’t effect them or their parties’ agenda. In New York City the people twice voted for term limits for all of the major elected political offices, limiting the office holder to two (2) four (4) year terms. Several years ago there was a movement to change the limits by a vote of the City Council (just like this current proposal) and Bloomberg’s response to that proposal was to call the attempt “disgusting.”

Oh, and speaking of opportunism - prior to his election as Mayor, Bloomberg was a life-long Democrat. He changed parties so he could have an easier path to City Hall. Last year, in order to distance himself from the debacle known as the Bush Administration, he changed his party affiliation to Independent. Nice.

There is legal precedent for the City Council to repeal or modify voter-imposed terms limits but I am certain there will be a legal battle to the bitter end.

And, folks, can there be any more whorish decision than John McCain’s decision to name Sarah “Madam Aw-Shucks Wink-Wink” Palin as his Vice-President? Come on now - do you REALLY believe she has the credentials to become President of the most powerful nation in the World? Be honest, do you? Don't shift focus to Obama or Biden, this once - just ask yourself about her - does she? In your heart you know the answer.

So, Mayor Mike, welcome to the Table of Whoredom. You will be seated next to Karl Rove, Rudy Giuliani and John McCain on your right and Bill Clinton, Elliot Spitzer and Ted Kennedy on your left. Oh, the old geezer across the table is “Boss” Tweed, you remember him don’t you? And, don't worry, there is a never-ending number of politicians who will be seated at the table with you in the future - you will have plenty of company.

Case closed.

I only report - you decide.

Billi Pod aka The Fair and Unbiased Reporter
wanjr@aol.com

What Has Happened to Us??

I just don’t understand, I really don’t. Tuesday evening I was in the Times Square area to pick up my subscription ticket for the 7:30pm performance of The Marriage of Bette & Boo. I had a little time to kill so I just walked around a bit. As a New Yorker I usually avoid the Times Square area during the height of tourist season, for obvious reasons.

The place was teeming with people, as I had expected, and that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was the massive number of obese people, males and females, who were waddling around with their also obese children in tow.

Don’t these people ever look in mirrors? Don’t they care about what they are doing to their own health and the health of future generations?

I actually stopped at a corner and counted the number of men over 40 who passed me. I counted for about 10 minutes and the results - 8 out of 10 guys over 40 had protruding potbellies. Gross!!

This is wrong America. Wake up before it is too late.

Sorry, I just had to rant.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com