Friday - My Right Eye and Stuff

On Thursday morning I had the laser procedure, Selective Laser Trabeculoplasty (SLT), to reduce the intraocular pressure in my right eye. It is an outpatient procedure and was done by my eye specialist, Dr. Dina Weintraub, at New York Eye & Ear Infirmary at East 14th Street and 2nd Avenue.

I was told to be there no later than 9:45am for my 10:00am appointment, so I arrived at 9:30 thinking there would be a lot of paperwork to fill out. Well, there wasn’t - none, nada, zip. At 9:45 a technician took me into the exam room and administered some drops to numb the eye. At exactly 10:00 Dr. Weintraub came in. As an aside, I have been seeing her for about a year at her office on East 49th Street, just two blocks from the apartment, and I have to say that she is highly professional and is one of the nicest persons I have ever met.

She put some more gook in the eye and then inserted a cup to hold the eyelid open. The procedure began and there was a lot of bright light, of course, but absolutely no pain or discomfort. It was over at 10:21 or about 15 minutes from the start. Wow.

I went out to the waiting area and had to wait for 30 minutes for the gook to clear out and to have the pressure checked. Everything was OK and I was outta there at 11:00. My eye was red and itchy but I had been told to expect this. My vision was somewhat blurred. Dr. Weintraub had said it was OK for me to go to the afternoon Yankee/Fucksox game which started at 1:05.

Took a bus back to the apartment, dropped off the prescription the Dr. had given me and was in the apartment at 11:45. Plenty of time to change clothes and head out to the game, but ...

For some reason I suddenly felt emotionally drained and very tired. My eye was a bit itchy but no real problem. I took a deep breath and decided to skip the game, opting instead to watch it on TV. So, I settled in on the couch to watch it and promptly fell asleep, something I rarely ever ever do. I woke up several times during the course of the game but went back to sleep. Fortunately I was awake when the Yankees won it in the bottom of the 9th inning when Jason Giambi singled in the winning run. The win technically keeps the Yankees in the AL East wild-card race.

I didn’t go out in the evening either. Just didn't feel like it. Instead I opted to watch the South Carolina vs. North Carolina football game and then Obama’s remarkable acceptance speech.

This morning the eye looks and feels fine and so do I.

Now, I also gotta ask: “What is it with John McCain’s selection for his VP running mate?”

Got things to do, so ...

Go Yankees!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

Wednesday - The Yankees Post-Season Quest Is Over!! Fucksox 11 - Wankies 3.

While technically the Yankees are not out of the wild-card race in the AL East, tonight’s implosion sucked all of the life out of this lackadaisical band of buffoons and embarrassed their loyal fans yet again. Everything went wrong: starting pitching, the bullpen, defense, base running, basic hitting, and hitting with runners in scoring position. The fans seated around me were really down, and, of course, the game was another sellout.

So, it does look like the last regular season home game against the Baltimore Orioles on Sunday, September 21, will indeed be the last game in The House That Ruth Built (and, of course, I have a ticket).

Was listening to the post game wrap-up (I guess I must have a masochistic side too) and an incredible statistic was given - the Yankees are 8 wins and 43 losses in games when trailing after 4 innings, meaning, simply, when they fall behind mid-game it is all over, regardless of how many runs they are behind. This stat validates a feeling I have had all season.

I have tickets for 7 of the remaining home games and, of course, I will be there until the bitter and painful end.

Once the regular season is over I guess I will have to dig out my old old Tampa Bay Devil Rays cap. Man, that is sooooooo f**king weird - Tampa in and New York out. Who would have thunk it? No one, that's who.

Oh well - closing on a positive note - HAPPY 22nd BIRTHDAY TO JOHN SCOTT REED!!!!

Peace!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

Tuesday Night - The Fucksox 7 - The Wankies 3

It was a frustrating night at The House That Ruth Built as the woeful Yankees lost to the Fucksox by a score of 7-3 but that score doesn’t do justice to the lack of performance by the Yankees in every area of the game, starting pitching, fielding, and hitting, especially with runners in scoring position. The same old lackluster performance yet again. ARod was pathetic. He grounded into two double plays, one with the bases loaded, struck out twice, including the final out, and made a fielding error. He was loudly booed, as he should have been. It was really painful to watch the game, which was, of course, sold-out. This was my 26th game and their record for those games is a pathetic 14-12.

The only thing that saved the day from being a total disaster was the time I was finally able to spend with student/bartender/manager Scott Reed and his student/server/ boyfriend Benjamin Sears. We had lunch at, gasp, Hooters, located on 56th Street between Broadway and 7th Avenue. Yes, guys, I said Hooters, and it was so ordered by Scott. Frankly, I did entertain the thought that when I arrived I would get a text message that I had been punked. But, that didn’t happen. They arrived and we went inside the testosterone-fueled restaurant. We ordered 50 wings and curly fries and let our big-boobed server flirt with us. When we finished 44 of the wings I asked the server to put the remaining 6 in a take-home bag. Then we walked down 7th Avenue to The Stage Deli where we shared a massive piece of cheese cake.

When we split I walked back to the apartment and Ben and Scott went to God-knows where. So, guys, it was great being with you and thanks for saving my day.

It is 1:30am and I need to post this and crash.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

Welcome Back to Yankee Stadium Fucksox

Tonight begins a crucial 3 game home series against the Boston Fucksox and if the Yankees have any hope of making the playoffs in the final year of The House That Ruth Built, they must take 2 out of 3. I don’t want to sound like a nay-sayer but I remind everyone that I have predicted problems with making the playoffs from the very beginning of the season. I have a ticket to each game but there is a chance that I might not be able to go to the game on Thursday afternoon because that morning I am having a laser procedure on my right eye to address a pressure problem.

I had a very good but kinda different entertainment program over the past 3 days in that I didn’t see a single theater event. Wow!! It has been a long time since that has happened. What I did do was see 3 movies. As I had posted earlier, on Saturday I had planned to see “Tropic Thunder” then “The Rocker” and then watch the Yankee/Baltimore game that evening. It didn’t quite work out that way. What happened you ask? Well, when I got to the ‘hood movie theater on 62nd and 1st Avenue where “Tropic Thunder” is playing there was a line stretching around the block. Damn. No way. So I hustled over to the theater at 64th and 2nd Avenue just in time to get a ticket to “The Rocker.”

“The Rocker” is about Robert “Fish” Fishman who is unjustly ousted as the drummer for the band Vesuvius just before the group’s megafame. Fish harbors 20 years of self-destructive resentment that finally forces him to move in with his sister’s family. His nephew’s band, A.D.D., has a gig at the prom but suddenly their drummer quits and the group is forced to turn to Fish for help. What happens next is a steady rise to fame and fortune as Fish tries to teach his young protégés how to be “rock stars.” They sign a deal with a record company and are booked to be the opening act for Vesuvius at The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Oh yes ... enough details. It is a very funny show, particularly if you like the Jack Black style of anarchy and badassitude.

When the show was over I swung back by the other theater and there was another line already forming, so I scratched “Tropic Thunder” and spent the time just wandering around the Upper Eastside. Came back to the apartment and settled in to watch the Yankees/Baltimore game with Carl (on the DL) Pavano pitching his first game of the season. And, Thank You Higher Power, he pitched a good game and the Yankees won.

On Sunday I planned my day around the afternoon Yankee/Baltimore game, which took forever and ever. But, bottom line, the Yankees hung on to win 8-7 and remain alive. I actually alternated watching the game, doing my usual Internet research for you, my loyal readers, and watching The Little League World Championship game, won by Hawaii.

“Tropic Thunder” was still on my agenda so I chose the final show time of 10:15pm, thinking that it wouldn’t be a problem, and it wasn’t. The house was only about 1/3 full. Let me say right off the bat, I loved this show and everything about it. I didn’t find it at all offensive. I am certain most of you know the plot line - a Vietnam war epic in filming finds that it’s pampered cast is engaged in real jungle combat with a drug cartel. The cast is headed by Ben Stiller, who co-wrote and directed, and Robert Downey Jr. as a method actor who undergoes a skin-darkening procedure so he can play a black soldier. Downey was sensational as was the rest of the cast, including Jack Black as an over-the-top drug addicted actor and Tom Cruise as a vulgar studio mogul. As I said, to me the show was gut-busting funny and I highly recommend it if you like this kind of in your face humor.

Monday was the usual errands and chores day and then last evening I saw my third movie, the just released “Hamlet 2” starring British comedian Steve Coogan as Dana Marschz, an inept high school drama teacher. When budget cuts kill the school’s drama program Dana is determined to go out in a blaze of glory with an original idea: he writes a sequel to Hamlet, which includes time travel and a musical number called: “Rock Me Sexy Jesus.” Interestingly, Coogan completely loses his English accent. The show is spotty in parts but, again, it is the type of in-your-face humor that I like, so, I also recommend it.

It is Tuesday morning and I am actually writing this as I am waiting for student/bartender/manager Scott Reed to get his lazy ass out of bed and text me the details of where and when we are to meet for lunch.

So, anyway, I will post this now - Go Yankees!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

Monday - Some Help for the Female Gender

In recognition of my unsullied reputation for Fair and Unbiased reporting, and in response to a number of rather testy emails, I feel that it is incumbent on me to reveal that I have also done extensive Internet research into why females have such a difficult time understanding the male universe.

I doubt that many of you loyal and faithful readers knew this, but several years ago I presented a paper at the Annual Meeting of W.O.M.A.N. (Woman Over Men Always, Numnutz) in Boise, Idaho, wherein I attempted to explain the female perception of what a man says versus what the man actually means. I thought it was so obvious that it didn’t need to be reduced to written text, but the reaction of my audience seemed to indicate that perhaps we males overestimate the extent of female logic and cognitive skills.

So, having said all of this, and in order to be of assistance to my many female friends and loyal readers, I will now share some (actually just a little bit) of the material I presented to W.O.M.A.N.--
----------------------------------------------
WHAT HE REALLY MEANS:

"Will you marry me?" REALLY MEANS, "Both my roommates have moved out, I can't work the washer/dryer, and there is no more peanut butter."

"It's a guy thing," REALLY MEANS, "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it.

"Can I help with dinner?" REALLY MEANS, "Why isn't it already on the table?"

"It would take too long to explain," REALLY MEANS, "I have no clue how it works."

"We're going to be late," REALLY MEANS, "Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac - get the f**k out of my way people."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard," REALLY MEANS, "I can't hear my game over the vacuum cleaner."

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love," REALLY MEANS, "Dammit, I forgot our anniversary again."

"It was a really good movie," REALLY MEANS, "It's got guns, knives, fast cars, and naked women."

"You know how bad my memory is," REALLY MEANS, "I remember the words to the theme song of "F Troop,” the address of the first girl I ever kissed, the Vehicle Identification Number (VIN) of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

Oh, don't fuss. I just cut myself. It's no big deal," REALLY MEANS, "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit I'm hurting."

"I missed you soooooo very much," REALLY MEANS, "I can't find the remote, the kids are hungry and we are out of toilet paper."

"I'm not lost, dammit, I know exactly where we are," REALLY MEANS, "No one will ever see us alive again."
--------------------------------------------

You are so really welcome.

Billi Pod aka The Fair & Unbiased Reporter
wanjr@aol.com

More Reasons Why Males Are Happier Than Females

As many of you faithful readers no doubt remember, back on July 28th I posted the results of some extensive Internet research regarding the logical reasons why we males are happier in this World of ours than our female counterparts. I directed you to the acclaimed website: www.werulelivewithitbitches.com. to post other reasons/factors and over 650 of you did, in fact, post additional reasons. After further review I have conclude that it is important to share this additional information with you, my faithful readers.

I also must unhappily report that the July 28th posting unleashed a torrent of virulent emails from the Feminazi clique, but, they will not and cannot stop me from my responsibility of continued Fair and Unbiased Reporting, so ...

Some additional reasons males are happier than females -

We know stuff about tanks.

Dry cleaners and hair cutters don't rob us blind.

We can go to the bathroom without a support group in tow.

We can leave the motel bed unmade.

We can kill our own food.

If we are 34 and single, nobody notices or cares.

We can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

We don't have to cleanup if the meter-reader is coming.

We can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without ever thinking: “Why is he mad at me."

Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

We can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, we just might become lifelong friends.

Our pals will never trap us with: "So, notice anything different?"

Remember - I just report - you decide.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

My Internet Research - The Blue Pill

I am posting this information as evidence to you, my loyal and faithful readers, that I am still doing the Internet research that you have come to love, respect and need, so, without further delay --

Generic Names For Viagra - “The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were: Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.”

More research results cumming soon.

Billi Pod aka The Fair and Unbiased Reporter
wanjr@aol.com

Friday was an excellent theater day!!

For starters, the weather in the Big Apple for the whole week has been terrific and Friday was no exception. It felt sooooo good to be out and about.

When the day began I had only two theater events scheduled for the day/evening, one Fringe Festival performance and one Off-Broadway show. I left the apartment around 1:00pm and took the 6 train down to Canal Street and then walked over to Walker Street and located the venue, aptly named “walkerspace,” between Broadway and Church Street. The show was at 2:30 so I had time to wander a bit and people watch.

“Parental Indiscretions” is written and performed by Steve Hayes and Tom Cayler and is about two twin brothers, one gay and one straight, who discover that they might not be brothers after all and how they deal with these revelations about family secrets and deceptions. The actors play many roles and the whole thing is very fast-paced. I liked it, but have to admit that it might not be everyone’s cup of tea. It gets a rating of 3.5 stars out of 5 on the Billi Pod scale.

When the show was over I had an unfilled gap until my second and last scheduled show at 8:00, so I rushed to the subway to see if I could get a ticket to the 4:45pm show “The Fabulous Kane Sisters in Box Office Poison” playing at The Cherry Lane Theater in the West Village. When I got to the theater the ticket-purchase line had already formed so I thought, what the hell, and got in line. I passed the time by playing solitaire on my iPhone. The line got longer and longer. I was able to get a ticket and it turned out that the house was about 98% full.

This is the blurb about the show: “Murder, mayhem and muscular bodies fill the stage as the Fabulous Kane Sisters attempt to solve a mystery and prevent their own murders in this bawdy, burlesque. It’s like a trip through the sewer in a glass bottom boat” and it doesn’t really do the show justice. The Kane sisters are played by the two co-authors, in drag, and is set in a performance space in Pocatello, Idaho, in 1956. The sister are desperate for a gig and accept a booking in this venue even though there has been a series of unsolved murders of previous lead performers. I have to say that this show was, to me, gut-busting funny. It was racy, profane, politically incorrect, and wonderfully performed. The audience was really into the show. It gets a 5 star rating from Billi Pod and I hope it has a life after The Fringe.

When the show was over I had about 90 minutes to kill until my next show at an Off-Broadway venue located on E. 24th Street between Park and Lexington. I decided to take the subway rather than walk. Began listening to the Yankee/Baltimore game with The Moose pitching and it didn’t start off well for the Yankees as they quickly fell behind. I thought it was kinda ironic that my show for the evening was about baseball.

I have described “National Pastime” in a previous post but, briefly, it is about a 1930s radio station, located in a backwater town, that creates a fictional baseball team, The Cougars, who only play against All-Star teams in Europe. The station’s ruse is much more successful than they imagined, but things become really confused when Major League Baseball shows up with a request/demand to play an All-Star game against The Cougars. The show has been performed twice at the Baseball Hall of Fame in Cooperstown but this is its first performance in New York City. It was funny, well written and very well performed and I liked it a lot.

When the show was over I immediately turned on my trusty Walkman and learned that the Yankee bats finally woke up late in the game and the Bombers won 9-4 although The Moose didn’t get the win. At this point every game is a must-win.

Tomorrow will be something kinda different. I plan it to be a movie day. I want to see “Tropic Thunder” and “The Rocker” and then come back to the apartment to watch the Yankee/Baltimore game at night because I want to see Carl Pavano pitch his first game of the season. If you are a baseball fan you know the Pavano saga. The local newspapers have branded Pavano as ...”perhaps the biggest bust in Yankees’ franchise history considering he has worked only 19 games for the $40 million bestowed on him before the 2005 season.” So, I gotta watch this game even if it is a Saturday night in The Big Apple. Hell, being retired means that every night is a Saturday night for me.

I will bring my Fringe Festival report and ratings up-to-date tomorrow, I promise.

Go Yankees!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

What Has Happened to Us??

I just don’t understand, I really don’t. Tuesday evening I was in the Times Square area to pick up my subscription ticket for the 7:30pm performance of The Marriage of Bette & Boo. I had a little time to kill so I just walked around a bit. As a New Yorker I usually avoid the Times Square area during the height of tourist season, for obvious reasons.

The place was teeming with people, as I had expected, and that didn’t bother me. What bothered me was the massive number of obese people, males and females, who were waddling around with their also obese children in tow.

Don’t these people ever look in mirrors? Don’t they care about what they are doing to their own health and the health of future generations?

I actually stopped at a corner and counted the number of men over 40 who passed me. I counted for about 10 minutes and the results - 8 out of 10 guys over 40 had protruding potbellies. Gross!!

This is wrong America. Wake up before it is too late.

Sorry, I just had to rant.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

More Fringe Festival Reports

Monday is usually my chores and things and stuff to-do day, and this Monday was no exception. The most time consuming was, of course, the two trips to the grocery stores in the ‘hood but I am now stocked up food-wise for the week.

On Monday my first Fringe Festival show was at 5:00 in a newly renovated theater on Bank Street in The Village. “The Chronicles of Steve: the bossy bottom” was one of the WORST shows I have seen in a long long time. It was 1:15 of pure drek as the writer/performer shamelessly invoked every dreadful gay stereotype in the world. It gets 0 stars. Barf and double barf.

I had about an hour to kill before my next show so I just wandered around The Village and people-watched.

“For Reasons Unknown” attracted a full house at The Barrow Street Theater and there was good reason - the show was excellent. The blurb said that it was based on a real event. Wow! Briefly, the male lead (and co-writer) comes home to his Midtown East apartment to find that someone has “pooed” on his couch, then all hell breaks loose as he and his female best friend attempt to find out “who done it.” The cops are called; his next-door neighbor is questioned; the building superintendent, a gun-toting anti-pigeon fanatic, appears; and, in the final scene the apartment is almost destroyed by a falling crane. Oh my Gawd thought I, this is set in the building at the end of my block, and it was indeed I discovered after the show. It was very eerie. I award the show 4.5 stars.

So, that was Monday. Now, what about today, Tuesday? Well, I have two Fringe Festival shows and one Off-Broadway show:

2:30 - “The Deciders.” Musical/Comedy. 1:10 - “Patriotism! Power! Paranoia? A driving rock score reveals in song and satire the secrets, dreams, motives and misinformation of those who make the decisions and those who live with the repercussions from the Washington Power Elite to Baghdad and beyond.” Fringe Festival.

5:00 - “Raised by Lesbians.” Comedy. 1:15 - “No sixteen-year-old wants to be seen with his parents, lesbian or otherwise. Sprung from the laboratory into the shopping mall, feral freak boy Joe is badgered by his dad, picked on my classmates ... oh, and mom has a new girlfriend.” Fringe Festival.

At 7:30 I have the Off-Broadway show “The Marriage of Bette & Boo” which I have described in a previous posting. This show is part of my Roundabout Theater season subscription. It has gotten excellent reviews and I am looking forward to seeing it.

My entertainment schedule for the rest of the week is --

Wednesday - 3:00 - “The Disappearance of Jonah.” Comedy/Drama. 1:15 - “Small-town golden boy Jonah Thompson disappeared two years ago. Against the backdrop of Manhattan and the the scattered people Jonah once knew, his brother Finn sets out to find him.” Fringe Festival.

8:00 - Mostly Mozart Festival Concert @ Lincoln Center. Mozart: Serenade for Winds; Beethoven: Piano Concerto No. 3; Mozart: Symphony No. 39. (discounted TDF ticket).

Thursday - 3:00 - “The Gay No More Telethon.” Musical Comedy. 1:40 - “Tonight, Reverend Wiley Ray Henderson's Religious Broadcasting Network presents The "Gay No More" Telethon. Your generous contribution will help turn every homosexual straight by the Rapture or the 2014 Winter Olympics ...whichever comes first. "Let's Get One Thing Straight ... You!" Fringe Festival.

Friday - 2:30 - “Parental Indiscretions.” Comedy. 1:30 - “Two brothers - one gay, one straight - discover they may not be, and their Aunt Pearl's prize winning petunia patch holds more than just the key to their past.” Fringe Festival.

8:00 - “National Pastime” - “National Pastime is the story of a small 1930's radio station which cannot compete for the rights to broadcast a real baseball team's games....so they create their own team! Written by Algonquin Theater's Artistic Director Tony Sportiello and directed by Nancy Robillard, this popular comedy has appeared twice in Cooperstown at the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame and is in the Literature Library.” (complimentary ticket).

Saturday - gasp, open at the moment

Sunday - “The Naked Elephant in the Middle of the Room.” Comedy/Drama. 0:45 - “A novice playwright struggles to write a really great comedy for FringeNYC while his characters come to life onstage. But what sells? Sex? Gay humor? Naked men? Or an audience warning" CONTAINS ADULT THEMES and NUDITY! How great is that!” Fringe Festival.

In closing, I am happy to report that my sister, Ann Parker, now living in California, is recovering from the surgery required to repair the shoulder she broke in an unfortunate accident while walking her dog. Her daughter Donna has stepped forward and is now with Ann - way to go Donna!! Thanks!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

A Great Three Days in the Big Apple

I don’t want to sound like a broken record but the past 3 days have been great, both entertainment, weather, and, finally, Yankee baseball-wise.

Let me start first with Saturday, which was devoted to theater and people watching in the East and West Villages. My first show, “Untitled Masterpiece," started at noon and ran for an hour. It was a very funny and well performed comedy about making the transition from college to the workforce. I give it a rating of 4 stars out of 5 (my rating schedule).

When the show was over I had almost 2 hours to kill, so I walked over to the pier at the end of Christopher Street and sat in the shade in the breeze and did some major people watching while listening to the Yankees/KC game.

The second show was “KABOOM!,” a frantic comedy about a con-man playing multiple roles who is trying to save a scam gone wrong. I give it a rating of 3.0 stars. The acting was better than the book.

When the show was over I was shocked to learn that the Yankee game was into extra innings, so I listened to it while walking East along Bleecker Street headed for my 3rd and last show, “The Grecian Formula.” Had time to find a nice park bench in the shade to listen to the rest of the game, which the Yankees finally won in the bottom of the 13th inning. Trust me, they had plenty of opportunities earlier but just couldn’t get the crucial hits with runners in scoring position, something that has plagued them all season. And, dammit, guys, time is running out!!!!

The house was full for “The Grecian Formula,” a truly madcap comedy about the beginning of writing drama for theater in the world of ancient Greece. Lots of barbs at the current theater scene. The cast was excellent and the audience was really into the risqué show, which ended with the presentation of the Golden Phallus Award. It wins 4.5 stars.

I have to admit that I was a bit tired when I got back to the apartment around 10:45 but it had been an excellent Big Apple Day.

And, Sunday was more of the same. My first show was at 2:30 at the same theater on Bleecker Street. I took a bus downtown because I wanted to listen to the Yankee/KC game which began at 1:00 with The Moose pitching. It didn’t start off well. Mussina gave up 3 runs in the top of the lst inning but the Yankee bats woke up and ARod tied the game in the bottom of the lst with a 3-run bomb and then in the next inning Giambi hit a grand slam. The Yankees cruised to a 15-6 win.

The show, “Gargoyle Garden,” was much more of a kids show than I had anticipated and it just didn’t work for me. Thankfully, it was only one hour long. It gets only 1.5 stars.

When the show was over I had to kinda hustle over to the next theater, located on Barrow Street at 7th Avenue. When I got there I spotted the cast of my show sitting together across the street, waiting for their turn. How did I know? Well, the name of the show is “The Redheaded Man” and one of the guys sitting on the sidewalk had flaming red hair. And, I was right.

As an aside, I have to comment on the rigorous scheduling and timetable for each show. At each venue there are 5 shows per day/night, scheduled back-to-back. When one show is over the next show crew and cast has about 30 minutes after the set of the previous show is struck to get their show set up and running. The box office doesn’t open until 15 minutes before show time and that is also when the house opens. It is general admission seating. Every show I have seen thus far has started right on time. There is no late seating permitted. My hat is off to the casts and crews.

Now about “The Redheaded Man.” The redheaded man shows up in the mind of the lead, a 25 year old young architect who is heavily medicated to treat his “manic depression.” It starts out kinda funny then it gets darker and darker and darker until it ain’t funny at all. The cast is excellent, especially the young guy playing the architect. Even though I left the theater feeling a bit creepy, I still have to give this drama 4.0 stars. It may get a higher rating later as I finish processing the whole thing.

When the show was over I had to hustle uptown via the 1 train to the Theater District to meet a representative from one of my ticket services in order to pick up my complimentary ticket to [title of show]. My God, my ticket was in the orchestra, row K, house right. Excellent. Oh, I was able to give my un-used Fringe ticket to a friend of my friend Paddy, who works outside the TKTS booth on 46th Street.

I have already talked about [title of show]. This was my second time seeing the Broadway run. I saw it twice when it was Off-Broadway. It is developing a “cult” following and I guess I have to admit that I am one. We are called “tossers” (I understand in England a tosser is a wanker - no matter). The show is so much fun. It is too bad that the weekly grosses are not enough to keep it running much past September when the tourists leave and the new season begins.

When I got back to the apartment I have to admit that I was tired but very very happy about being a New Yorker. I crashed at the usual 2:00am.

This is being written on Monday night and I saw two more Fringe Festival shows today and booked most of the rest of the week. This is getting to be too long, so I will post it now and write about everything else tomorrow morning, hopefully.

Go Yankees!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

“Excess” - Thy Name Be Billi Pod

Yep, I plead guilty. When I went down to Fringe Festival Headquarters yesterday I had a list of 14 shows I wanted to see. The selection process is kinda difficult for a variety of reasons. First is the number of shows (200), followed closely by the limited number of performances (usually 5) and the location of the performance venues, which pretty much run across all of lower Manhattan from The East River to The Hudson River.

As a further example, for this Saturday there are 81 shows available, beginning at noon and ending with the last performance time of 10:15pm. The running times range from 45 minutes to 2 hours, 15 minutes. There are plays, musicals, one-person shows, dance performances, multi-media, and combinations of all of the above. Very rarely do the shows get reviewed and when they are the shows have usually completed their 5 performance run.

You pretty much have to rely on the blurbs contained in the 64 page Festival Guide. So, this is my Festival and entertainment program for Saturday, Sunday and Monday:

Saturday - noon - “Untitled Masterpiece” - Comedy/Performance Art. 1:00 - “Untitled Masterpiece is a fresh take on the life after college graduation. Everyman Joe Meursault struggles to find himself through a barrage of changing scenes and rotating characters that try to reduce his life to a series of TV shows.”

3:15 - KABOOM! - Comedy. 1:55 - “After his drug factory explodes, San Francisco's slyest swindler has one day to recoups his losses. Nothing can stop him ... except, maybe a neurotic New Yorker, a misplaced kazoo, and a 37-minute orgasm. Hipster satire meets old-school farce.”

7:30 - “The Grecian Formula” - Comedy. 1:45 - “How far would you go to win the phallus? Commanded to write the world's first drama, Homeric celebubard Thespiotis orders his servant, Alidocioous, to ghostwrite. And so the witty slave does write on cue, though mayhem, masks, and choral odes ensue.”

Sunday - 2:30 - “Gargoyle Garden” - Musical. 1:00 - “Jeff LaGreca Edgar Allen Densmore is a weird, lonely little boy who has trouble fitting in at the Piedmont Private School. Spending his time alone up in the decaying rooftop garden, he one day receives a mysterious invitation to a strange and raucous moon-lit party.”

4:30 - “The Redheaded Man” - Drama. 1:30 - “A gifted young architect is plagued by visions that inspire his designs, yet render him a walking social disaster. He calls it "insight," others call it “insanity.” A darkly funny multimedia experience about navigating the secrets our minds keep.”

7:30 - {title of show} - Broadway. I had booked a Fringe show called “The Johnny” for 9:00. When I got back to the apartment and went online to check my ticket services [title of show] was up so the choice was - see a Broadway show for free or see an unknown Fringe Festival show, and, of course, Broadway won even though I had seen the show in early previews. This is the blurb for [title of show] - “This new Broadway musical portrays two nobodies named Hunter and Jeff who decide to write a completely original musical starring themselves and their attractive and talented friends, Susan and Heidi. Their musical, [title of show], gets into the New York Musical Theatre Festival and becomes a hit. Then it gets an off-Broadway production at the Vineyard Theatre and wins three Obie Awards. Then its announced that their musical is going to Broadway. With direction by Tony Award nominee Michael Berresse, [title of show] explores inside the creative minds and hearts of these young theatre artists as they face all the challenges, triumphs, setbacks, joys and heartbreaks of creating a new and hopefully great American musical. PLEASE NOTE: This musical deals with adult themes and contains strong language.”

Now, on to Monday - 5:00 - “The Chronicles of Steve: the bossy bottom.” Comedy/solo show. 1:15 - “With his new one-man comedy show, David LeBarron weaves a sex-quest that fully inflates the biggest sexual organ, the heart.”

7:30 - “For Reasons Unknown.” Comedy. 1:30 - “Nathan Halvorson Bradley comes home and finds a present on his sofa. The gift? A big poo. What does he do? Or perhaps, what did he do? Inspired by a true story, this new whodunit comedy explores what happens when shit happens.”

I have also scheduled Fringe shows for Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Sunday. Details will be posted later.

Yes, I plead guilty to "EXCESS."

Have a great weekend everyone.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

Thursday - Neil Diamond in Concert Tonight

I have to say that the concert tonight was everything that I have come to expect from a Neil Diamond concert and I think 99.99% of the crowd agreed with me. The photo is a stock photo, not one taken at the concert.

He came on stage at 8:20. There was no opening act (and no intermission), and from that moment the lights went up on him he had the audience in the palm of his hand. He was backed up by the band he has been performing with for over 30 years.

He did 3 numbers from his new album and they were warmly received but the “Diamond Standards” are what really turned the audience on and we sang along with him on most of them. The song that got the longest applause was “Brooklyn Roads” about him growing up in Brooklyn. My favorite was “I Am ... I Said” followed by “Sweet Caroline.”

The concert was over about 10:30 and I left feeling very very happy with the World.

This afternoon I went downtown to the Fringe Festival Headquarters and got tickets for 13 shows, which I will detail in a later post.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

Back In My New York State Of Mind

Yes, I have gotten back into my Big Apple groove and it feels so good to be in New York City, The Greatest City in the World. Ah, yes ...

On Tuesday I spent a lot of time doing chores, sorting stuff and taking things to the laundry across the street from the apartment and making two extended trips to the two grocery stores in the ‘hood. One of the minor annoyances of big city living is that the grocery stores are much smaller and often the choices are meager. This means I usually have to go to both stores even if I have only 5 or so things on my list. I have learned to live with it but it is still annoying.

I saw an early evening showing of the recently opened stoner-comedy “Pineapple Express” - “Process server Dale (played by co-writer Seth Rogen) scores some weed off of his lonely dealer Saul (played by James Franco), who’s peddling Pineapple Express, which smells “like God’s vagina” and smokes “like killing a unicorn.” Dale witnesses a murder committed by Saul’s super-bad-guy dealer and a corrupt cop, and in short order Dale and Saul are on the run, dodging bullets, wreaking cars, smoking weed, and slowly ... falling in love with each other.” I was in the mood for a silly/dumbass movie and this was it. I loved it.

Speaking of movies - I can hardly wait to see the just released “Tropic Thunder,” co-written, directed by, and starring Ben Stiller, with Robert Downey, Jr., in black-face and Jack Black. There is another must-see on the horizon too - “The Rocker.”

When the show was over I came on back to the apartment and settled in to watch the Yankees/Minnesota game, which the Yankees won in extra innings after Mariano Rivera gave up a game tying three-run homer in the bottom of the 8th inning. It was another game where the Yankees played sloppy ball and seemed to be sleepwalking. And, Derek Jeter had to leave the game with an ankle injury. With each passing day the playoff chances seem to diminish. I have tickets for 9 of the remaining home games.

Today, Wednesday, was another excellent weather day. In the afternoon I had my every 6-8 weeks finger prick to check my Coumadin level and everything was fine, as usual

Spent most of the afternoon just wandering around the Eastside while listening to the Yankees/Minnesota game and the Yankees sucked dog-dicks again and lost another game they should have won. Thankfully, that ended a terrible road trip with their record only 3-7. Hank Steinbrenner has basically shifted into a “wait till next year” mode and that ain’t good.

Had an interesting Off-Broadway show this evening downtown in the East Village. It was “Day In Dig Nation” - described as: “After smash runs in Boston, Seattle, Edinburgh, and Prague, a Day in Dig Nation arrives at Performance Space 122 for two weeks in August. A mash-up of media, sound and live performance, this one-person adventure, performed by Michael McQuilken, features Rex, a man so consumed by technology that he forgets how to communicate with actual people.” It was only 50 minutes long, was extremely well performed and written and took head-on our ever increasing reliance on cyber-communication and digital programming over face-to-face experiences. I had a complimentary ticket.

At the present time my entertainment schedule for the next week is:

Thursday - Neil Diamond @ Madison Square Garden (full price ticket)

Friday - Mostly Mozart Festival Concert @ Lincoln Center - Sibelius: Pellas och Melisande; Mozart: Clarinet Concerto in A major; Beethoven: Symphony No. 2. (discounted TDF ticket).

Saturday - open - probably The Fringe Festival

Sunday - open - probably The Fringe Festival

Monday - open - probably The Fringe Festival

Tuesday - “The Marriage of Bette & Boo” - “Christopher Durang's award-winning dark comedy takes a look at the complex marriage of Bette and Boo. Three decades of marriage, divorce, alcoholism, nervous breakdowns and death - all blended in a unique mix of irony, humor and farce - are played out in 33 quick scenes. At turns hilarious and heart-wrenching, absurdist and honest, the play is a seminal work in the Durang canon and a ferociously funny family portrait.” Off-Broadway. This is part of my annual subscription to the award winning Roundabout Theater.

Wednesday - Mostly Mozart Festival Concert @ Lincoln Center - Mozart: Serenade for Winds; Beethoven: Piano Concerto No. 3; Mozart: Symphony No. 39. (discounted TDF ticket)

OK, OK, you want to know - what is The Fringe Festival? Well, first of all, the correct title is: “The 12th Annual New York International Fringe Festival,” and it is 202 plays offered at 19 downtown venues from August 8th through August 24th. The tickets are $15 or $10 for us senior citizens. Tomorrow I will go down to the Festival Headquarters and purchase tickets for a least 9 shows for Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

I have scored a ticket for The Who concert on October 29th in New Fucking Jersey.

OK, I am tired of writing, so I will post this and crash at or around the usual 2:00am.

Oh, Scott & Benjamin - it is 401 hours and counting.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com

My Gawd!! Why Me???

{this is being written at 10:15pm on the way to LGA]

Since the last posting - I got another call from Delta to tell me that there had been another flight change, and my heart began to pound - this is it thought I, but, good news, the new estimated departure time was set back from 10:20pm to 9:00pm. Great. My son-in-law, Dr. John Bendeck, drove me to the airport and I would guess it was around 7:00pm when we got there.

I checked in but was unable to get an exit row seat. No matter. I cleared security without any problem and was at the gate at 7:30. Ate a rather nasty looking turkey sandwich and just killed time online. This airport has free wi-fi.

About 8:30 our plane arrived. I asked one of the arriving passengers what the problem had been and she said there had been a mechanical problem. The flight had originated in Atlanta. Hum, so it wasn’t the New York area weather problem that I had thought.

The gate agent said we would depart at 9:00 and that was great, so we boarded about 8:50. I estimate the plane to be 75% full. Then there was a delay, with no explanation.

Then the Flight Attendant (female) asked two very very large black people, one male and one female, in the front of the plane to move to open seats in the rear, “at the request of the Captain,” she said. The female moved back, muttering, but the male went absolutely ballistic, cussing and yelling and saying that the Flight Attendant was a racist bitch for making him move to the back. He finally moved back but continued to yell and cuss. He went postal. To make a long story a bit shorter, the cops came and he was physically removed from the plane. It was quite a scene. You could feel the hostility directed toward the Flight Attendant by the remaining blacks on board. And, it has continued. Very uncomfortable, to say the least.

We pushed away from the gate at 9:48 and were airborne at 9:55. I am writing this and wondering what else is going to go wrong.

In the middle of the flight I took out a 3 x 5 card and wrote my name, address, phone number, seat number and a statement that the Flight Attendant and crew had done nothing wrong, that the passenger was 100% at fault, and gave it to the Flight Attendant to use, if necessary. She said she deeply appreciated it.

{written in the apartment]

The rest of the flight went OK. We touched down at 11:26pm, actually only 2 hours 45 minutes late. We assembled at the baggage carousel and after a short wait the bags started to arrive, including my duffle. Thank God.

Then yet another glitch. When I went to the transportation desk and called SuperShuttle I was told that there would be at least an hour wait for the next van but they would credit my account if I wanted to seek other transportation. No way was I going to wait another hour, so I opted for a taxi.

Of course, the taxi line was long but the wait wasn’t actually that bad.

Bottom line, at 12:33am I opened the door to the apartment. Man, did it feel good to be home. I have unpacked, sorted through the accumulated mail, had a Fresca and am now finishing this. Will post and crash around the usual 2:00am.

Have nothing planned yet for tomorrow or Wednesday. On Thursday I have the Neil Diamond concert at Madison Square Garden and on Friday a classical music concert at Lincoln Center.

Whew!! Glad today is finally over.

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com