Barf Days!!

A week ago I posted about a Four Bang Day in the Big Apple. Now 7 days later, in the name of Truth and Honesty in Reporting, I have to record multiple Barf Days, so, please take a deep breath, locate your Pepto-Bismol, and follow me on this journey into Barf Land.

Day One - Friday - The weather was nasty, gray and rainy, so I basically just chilled in the pad during the day. My long-term planning had been to watch the first of the final 3 games of the Yankee season, to be played at Fenway Park against the Fucksox. You know now that the Yankees have been eliminated from the post season and the only issue was whether the Rays or The Fucksox would win the AL East. No way was I going to stay in to watch the game, so I had gotten a complimentary ticket to see an Off-Broadway show, “Love, Peace, Robbery,” at the theater on E 59th Street, one of my favorite venues.

I should have been warned because I knew that the show was set in Cork, Ireland, and involved two serial thieves just released from prison. It was 90 minutes without intermission. It, unfortunately, involved every Irish stereotype, including almost indecipherable brogues and slang. The guys drank, got drunk and yelled and cursed at each other and the other characters. It was bad, very bad. Barf One!!

When I got back to the apartment and turned on the TV I found out that the Yankee game had been delayed due to rain and that they were kicking butt, ultimately winning 19-8, thereby giving the AL East title to The Tampa Bay Rays. Fuck you Fucksox.

Despite the Yankee humiliation of The Fucksox, it was still a Barf Day, so, Barf One!

Day Two - Saturday

It was another dark and gloomy day. My schedule for this day was built around the 12:30pm Gator/Ole Miss game. I knew it wasn’t being carried on local TV but I had planned to listen to the radio broadcast online. Well, for whatever reason, I couldn’t get the radio feed, so I had to resort to watching it in 30 second summaries on yahoo.com. That sucked. Barf Two!!

How can I describe the agony of the game? I can’t. To lose to an unranked team while ranked #4 and playing in The Swamp is unfathomable, but, as you know, it happened. The Gators were terrible when it counted and they paid the ultimate price, humiliation in front of a stadium full of loyal fans. This has to rank at a double barf - Barf Three and Barf Four!!!!

The Yankee/Fucksox game was rained out so a day/night doubleheader was scheduled for Sunday. The only important thing about this is Mike Mussina's attempt to win 20 games for the first time in his ML career.

I pulled myself out of my deep funk and headed out to my Off-Broadway show, “Johnny On A Spot,” which was described as ...”a screwball comedy”... and, man, did I need something funny. Well, I didn’t get it. The show, which I described in a previous post, was written in 1942 (which I didn’t know), is set in an unnamed state in the deep South, and features every conceivable southern cliché - racism, sexism, alcoholism, cronyism, bible-thumping, corruption, etc., etc., etc. The large cast spewed out southern accents so deep and phony that even I couldn’t understand half of what was said. The house was almost full. At intermission I joined a stream of people headed out of the theater. Barf Five!!!!!

Back at the apartment my spirits were somewhat bolstered by watching ‘Bama kicking Bulldog butt. It didn’t save the day, however.

This is being written on Sunday afternoon and it has been lightly raining most of the day. I am watching the first of the two Yankee/Fucksox games. Tonight I have a 7:00 Off-Broadway show, “Kindness,” and I am praying that it will stop the barfing experiences - enuff is enuff, already.

Go Gators and Go Tampa Bay Rays!!

Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com