Potential Elder Abuse

Dear family, friends and readers of this blog - I am taking this opportunity to alert you all to a potentially deadly instance of elder abuse, which may occur on Monday, April 21, in New York City.

Background: I have two young “friends” in their early 20s, John Scott Reed and his boyfriend Benjamin M. Sears, who reside in the Lower Eastside of Manhattan. Over the past several years I have been a surrogate parent to each of them, a counselor, and, yes, a Mentor. I have been present for each of them during times of crisis and given them advice and encouragement in times of their need.

In all modesty I have to say that neither one of them would have survived in the Big Apple had it not been for my willingness to make the personal sacrifices necessary to allow them into my life.

Unfortunately, as they have become older, and, in their own minds, more independent, I have noticed a decline in their respect for me, and, for reasons I don’t understand, a need on their part to cause me mental and sometimes physical anguish. I have tried to ignore their trip to the “dark-side” but it has been almost impossible to sever this long-term relationship. They still cling even as post-teenagers.

Last year, several weeks after my birthday, they showed up unannounced at my apartment, literally forcing their way inside. Once inside they insisted that I eat a Brownie that Scott had prepared “to honor your birthday.” I had no choice, so I took several bites and it tasted strange, very strange. The next thing I remember is being on a train headed to the southern tip of Staten Island, a wild and thinly populated territory to the south of the Island of Manhattan. I have little recollection of what happened during and afterwards except recalling their laughter at what they called my ...”shroom adventure”... Now, I have no idea what they meant by that.

I regained my cognitive abilities around 10:30pm that evening, alone in my apartment. I later discovered that one of my lessor-used credit cards was missing and the following month I disputed a charge of $7,520. for two Penis Enhancement Procedures. That event is still under investigation. I cannot say that they took the card but I can say that both Scott and Benjamin have the “This is Bob” smile made famous in the male enhancement ad on TV.

Needless to say, I have tried to distance myself from these two, so you will understand my deep concern when I received the following email from Scott --

*****************
RE: Birthday Abduction

Bill,

You will be abducted by Benjamin and me on Monday, April 21st in order to celebrate your 93rd birthday.

Details can not be provided, so don't ask.

Specifics will be sent prior to the event, but estimate to be gone
around noon until 6pm-ish. Times are subjected to change during the course of the event without notice.

Wear all black. Bring an iPod or two.
******************************
For numerous reasons I felt I had no choice but to go along with their plan/plot, since from prior experience I knew that they would have shown up regardless of my response, if not on Monday then at some other time when I least expected it and would be even more vulnerable. So, I responded --

*****************************
Guys:

I have blocked out the time, and, hopefully, my heart will have stopped racing by then.

I will have updated my Last Will & Testament by then and also updated my shot/vaccination card.

Please remember that I had to send my passport out to California to the visa processing organization - hope that won't be a problem.

You two do realize, I hope to Jesus My Savior, that all of the sharp wit and sarcasm directed at you over the past year was meant in good fun and nothing personal - I hope?

I think I should also tell you that I will provide your names and addresses to my good friend Joel Nutcutter, who is an Assistant DA in the Lower Manhattan DA's office. Just to be on the safe side and so you will know ...

Anyway, gasp, thanks for your willingness to share your time and energy with this frail and semi-demented older person (remember there are specific laws directed at elder abuse).

Billi Pod

****************************

I am afraid, very afraid.

So, dear family and friends - if I haven’t posted on this blog by 10:00pm Monday night, PLEASE PLEASE notify the appropriate authorities.

I am not concerned about Scott and/or Benjamin being alerted by this post since they would never take the time to read it.

Oh, my friend Joel Nuttcutter called me on Friday to advise me that he has assigned his number one assistant, Howard Ballcrusher, to the case, and that makes me feel a bit better.

Thanks so much for your time,

Bill
wanjr@aol.com