Eighteen Years of Sobriety

March 18th was the anniversary of my 18th year of sobriety. As I reflect on the events of the past 18 years it is apparent to me that much has changed in me, almost all of it for the better.

I guess the most important change has been my ability to live my life by one of the fundamental teachings of Alcoholics Anonymous, that is, "One Day At A Time." This concept was totally foreign to me prior to March 18, 1990. Now, on reflection, it was the major thing that saved me during that first tumultuous and frightening year when it seemed that my world was crashing down around me. People who I thought were my friends were calling for my resignation and my home was being picketed by the KKK.

I think I survived, especially during that first terrible year, because I came to believe that God would not deal me more than I could handle on any one day. I also began to make my way through the AA program by working the suggested 12 Steps Of Recovery, which are:

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1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God, as we understood Him.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all of our affairs.

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As I have written before, at my retirement party in January 1995 I made reference to the role of Alcoholics Anonymous in my recovery by reading the following from the book called "Twenty-Four Hours A Day" --

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YESTERDAY, TOMORROW, AND TODAY

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept from fear and apprehension. One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed. We cannot erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone beyond recall.

The other day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and perhaps its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control. Tomorrow's sun will rise, either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise. Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow, for it is as yet unborn.

This leaves only one day - today. Any one can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternity's, yesterday and tomorrow that we break down. It is not the experience of today that drives us mad. It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore do our best to live but one day at a time. Twenty-Four Hours a Day, July 29, 30, and 31

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This has been what I have attempted to live by for the past 6,570 days.

I deeply regret that 5 dear friends, David Patterson, Ray Coker, Marvin Mounts, Tom Macdonald, and Randy Bentley, who were with me at the beginning of my first steps toward recovery, are no longer able to share with me the wonderment of these 6,570 days lived One Day At A Time. I miss you guys, I really do. I also must add that none of this time in recovery would have been possible without the continued support of my family and so many of you on this newsletter list. Thank you so very much.

In closing - not to preach but the 12 Steps and One Day At A Time are pretty good guides to living a meaningful and manageable life, aren't they?

Bill
wanjr@aol.com