Oh Yes==>Yankees 5, FuckSox 2

Well, Billi Pod is still glowing from the outcome of last night’s YANKEE/FUCKSOX game at that slimy cesspool known as Fenway Park. Yes, the Yankees won 5-2 behind a journeyman performance from our ace CC Sabathia. His record is now 18-7.

CC kept getting into and then out of trouble through the 6 innings he pitched, but he held The Sucks to 2 runs. The bullpen did the rest, shutting down The Sucks for the final 3 innings.

There was a near bench-clearing brawl when John Lackey intentionally hit our catcher, Francisco Cervelli, in retaliation for what Lackey perceived as “improper celebration” after Cervelli had hit a home run earlier in the game.

Yeah, really classy and professional conduct from The Sucks.

Tonight at 7:05pm is the second game of the 3-game series and Phil Hughes will be on the mound for The Bronx Bombers. On the mound for The FuckSox will be our nemesis, Josh Beckett, who has owned us this season.

Of course Billi Pod will be glued to the tube.

Today’s entertainment event is ...

2:00==>CATCH ME IF YOU CAN, the musical about the exploits of Frank Abagnale, Jr. (Broadway - complimentary ticket).

I first saw this show in early previews and liked it a lot. Saw it a second time shortly after it opened to very mixed reviews. It is closing this Sunday, so when it showed up on one of my ticket services I couldn’t pass it up.

I think that a lot of my theater-buddies will be there too.

In closing I want to respond to several emails and postings about my perceived vitriol and negative feelings directed at Boston ...

Folks, you got it wrong==>Billi Pod DOES NOT hate the City of Boston. Boston is, in fact, one of his favorite American cities. No, he hates The Boston Red Sox, not Beantown.

What are my top-5 American cities, you are no doubt breathlessly asking? Well ... here they are:

1. New York City (of course)

2. San Francisco

3. Boston

4. New Orleans

5. Seattle

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Billi Pod Says==>Bring On The Boston FuckSox (again)

First, before baseball ... let me report on ...

Yesterday’s staged reading of La BELLA FAMILIA, directed by my FaceBook friend David Lee, was interesting. Of course the play needs work but I am glad I got a chance to see it.

When the show was over Billi Pod took advantage of the awesome weather and walked back to PHC, a distance of about 2 miles.

Along the way I stopped at several shoe stores, trying to find my leisure-shoe-of-choice, Reebok Custom White, but had to visit 4 stores before I found one that was in my size, 9 1/2.

I know ... I know ... many of you otherwise loyal and faithful readers are asking yourselves ... “self, why does that egomaniacal asshole think I give a flying f**k about what shoe he likes and/or when and where he buys it?”

Good question. And ... the answer simply is==>Billi Pod writes this blog for himself, so ... there ... live with it ...

Anyway ... When I got back to PHC I opted not to go out to a movie. Instead, Billi Pod stayed in and watched the YANKEES/ORIOLES game.

The Bronx Bombers won 3-2 behind another stellar outing from Freddy Garcia, who went 6 innings, giving up only 1 run on 2 hits. Hopefully this sealed his place in the 5-man rotation.

The winning runs came on another homer off the bat of Nick Swisher, who has been hitting really well of late. Keep it up Swish ...

Tonight Billi Pod will stay in and watch==>YANKEES/BOSTON FUCKSOX at the fetid cesspool known as Fenway Park.

Our ace CC Sabathia will be on the mound. His last outing against The FuckSox was dismal. Phil Hughes will pitch on Wednesday and then ... gasp and barf ... AJ Burnett aka Loser Boi on Thursday.

A-Rod is out of the lineup due to an injured thumb and Jeter is iffy due to a right knee contusion. Barf!!

In the name fair and unbiased reporting Billi Pod must report that The Yankees have basically sucked dog dicks against The FuckSox this season, compiling a putrid record of only 2 wins versus 10 losses. We have 6 games remaining, this 3-game series in The Cesspool and then the last 3 regular season home-games in Yankee Stadium, The House That Greed And Ego Built.

Guys==>listen up==>if we have any hope of winning the AL East we gotta win at least 4 out of those 6 games. Otherwise, it is going to be The Wild Card.

So==>man up and beat those retards on their home turf ...

Oh, in response to a couple of kinda snarky emails ... yes, Billi Pod knows that it is a long season etc. etc. etc. ... but ... remember ... to an avid Yankee fan a Yankee/FuckSox game is akin to Gators/’Noles, repeated 18 times, so ...

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Manhattan Is Returning to Normal

Good morning everyone.

It is a beautiful Monday morning in The Big Apple, The Greatest City In The World. It was 62º at 8:00am and the sky is cloudless and azure blue. What a change from yesterday.

Billi Pod is happy to report that things are returning to “normal” in Manhattan. Unfortunately, things are not going as well out there in the outer-boroughs where thousands are without power and flooding is rampant.

Mass transit is up and running so there is no excuse for you Worker Bees not being at your jobs. Sorry.

We were indeed fortunate that Irene lost a good bit of her punch when she came ashore. Manhattan is lucky that the center of the then tropical storm passed to the East of the Island.

In retrospect I have to admit that I had a great amount of anxiety over what might happen. Whew!!

As I posted yesterday, I was really getting antsy about being in PHC for such an extended period of time. I was feeling as if Billi Pod had become a ... gasp ... couch potato ... why? Well ...

I watched the first game of the YANKEES/ORIOLES doubleheader and the Yankees got shutout 2-0, although Bartolo Colon pitched a very good game.

Then it was The Little League World Series Championship game==>CALIFORNIA vs. JAPAN. It was a very exciting game with California winning 2-1 in the bottom of the 6th (the final regulation inning) with 2 outs. Way to go guys!!

It was around 5:00 when the game was over and Billi Pod was totally antsy. He just had to get out of PHC and do something ... anything ... just get the f**k out ... so ...

Out he went to see a movie ... but ...

It was very eerie-feeling on the streets. Most of the stores and restaurants in the Times Square area were closed. Pedestrian traffic was minimal, mostly confused-looking tourists. Very few cars and, of course, no busses.

The wind was gusting and the sidewalks were more littered than usual because all of the trash cans had been laid-down on their sides to prevent them from becoming airborne. No rain ... but it was still nasty and icky feeling.

Anyway ... the movie was==>30 MINUTES OR LESS, starring Jesse Eisenberg.

For those of you loyal and faithful readers who don’t keep up with important stuff, the story line is: “Two slacker buddies are forced to rob a bank because one of them has been strapped to a bomb by an inept wannabe criminal.”

Reviews have been very mixed, but==>I loved it ... yes ... LOVED IT! Gross, profane, shocking, but gut-busting funny. It is just the kind of humor that Billi Pod loves. I needed this show. It is definitely not a date-movie.

When the movie was over I came back to PHC. The wind was still gusting. No rain but it was very unpleasant during the short walk back to the apartment.

Was able to catch the last innings of the second game of the YANKEES/ORIOLES doubleheader and, thankfully, the Bronx Bomber bats came alive with 5 homers to support a decent outing from Ivan Nova, who won his 14th game. The final score was 8-3.

The Yankees have a final game tonight in Baltimore and then they head to Beantown for a 3-game series with The FuckSox. And, yes, Billi Pod’s future entertainment schedule will be predicated on watching each of these 7:05pm games.

Today, being Monday, it is errands and stuff. My entertainment event is ...

4:00==>La BELLA FAMILIA - “The play centers on Bella, a Puerto Rican hit woman, her family and the neighbors from hell.” (free ticket)

This is a staged reading and the Director is my FaceBook friend David Lee.

At this point I am not certain what, if anything, I will do for the evening. Either catch another movie: CRAZY, STUPID, LOVE, starring Steve Carell, or just stay in and watch the Orioles game ... who knows?

Again==>thanks to everyone out there in the vastness of cyberspace for your concern and support.

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Billi Pod Says==>Bye Bye Irene!!

Good morning everyone.

Let’s get right to it==>Billi Pod and Manhattan survived Irene, which was downgraded to a tropical storm just before it passed over the Island around 9:15am this morning. Lots of flooding in the outer boroughs and on Long Island.

Billi Pod says==>BYE BYE IRENE!!

Thanks so much for all of the emails, texts and posts. It’s really nice to know that you care.

I am writing this blog at 11:00am and it is lightly raining and there is a light wind. Actually, it is relatively calm. Traffic is beginning to pick up on 8th Avenue and on 42nd Street.

Yesterday I posted a storm log on my FaceBook Wall and I will share it with you loyal and faithful readers out there in the vast hinterlands --

******************

Saturday - 4:00pm - Rain stopped. Light wind. Streets are almost empty of traffic except for a few cabs. Getting kinda bored.

5:30pm - Light rain. Sky really getting dark. Still light wind

8:00 - Rain & wind have picked up. Email advising no Sunday newspaper deliveries. I expected that. Talking heads say Irene is still headed directly to The Big Apple.

11:00 - raining pretty hard now. Wind gusty. Talking heads just said we now have a tornado warning in the tri-state area. Still some traffic.

Sunday - 1:00am - really getting nasty out. Heavy rain and gusting winds. I am going to try to catch some zzzz’s. Will get up at 6:00am. The worst stuff is predicted to be around 8:00am.

7:00am - nasty out. Center of category 1 hurricane is still south of the city. Rain is heavier than the wind. Wind is supposed to pick back up within the hour. Talking heads are all stressing it is rain/water/floods over winds.

8:30 - rain increasing. Talking heads say that eye will pass over Manhattan around 9:30am. Virtually no traffic on 8th Avenue or 42nd Street. Eerie.

Breaking news==>Irene has been downgraded to a tropical storm. Nice. Now get the Hell out of here!!

***********************

I understand that the mass transit system will not be fully operational in time for tomorrow’s morning commute. Sorry ‘bout that Worker Bees.

Man, am I antsy. Billi Pod has spent way too much time in front of the tube. He went to bed @ 1:00am and was up at 6:00am.

What are my plans for today? Well ... I had planned to watch the Little League World Championship game at 11:00am, but ... tada ... it is in a rain delay.

The Yankees are now scheduled to play a doubleheader today against the Orioles, the first game at 1:35pm and the second at 7:35pm. All of this “weather permitting.” of course.

Damn - it looks like I might remain a couch-potato.

Man, I gotta get outta this place.

Sometime today/tonight Billi Pod will drag his ass out of PHC and catch a movie==>30 MINUTES OR LESS, starring Jesse Eisenberg.

Let me close by again thanking all of you loyal and faithful readers for your concerns. It really meant a lot to me. Not joking ... it really did! Thanks!!

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

AJ Burnett aka Loser Boi Bombs Yet Again

Good morning everyone.

Let me start this pre-Irene posting with Billi Pod’s report card on last night’s...

HERMAN KLINE’S MIDLIFE CRISIS==>B<==not nearly as funny as it could have been. Decent acting. Another dysfunctional family gone awry, however, it is worth seeing.

You know, the good thing about the show==>I didn’t get to see AJ Burnett aka Loser Boi implode yet again in the Orioles game, giving up 6 runs in the second inning. He lasted only 5 innings, giving up 9 runs on 9 hits. Yep, Loser Boi caused The Yankees to lose 12-5 to the last place Orioles.

Yankee management==>bite the bullet and bench this Spawn of the Devil. If you don’t, he will continue in his efforts to ruin our season in favor of The Boston FuckSox. How many times must Billi Pod call this to your attention? Jus sayin ...

As you loyal and faithful readers know==>Hurricane Irene has taken aim at The Big Apple.

All mass transit will shutdown at noon. All Broadway/Off Broadway shows are canceled. There is a mandatory evacuation in place for parts of lower Manhattan, including Battery Park City.

My apartment building is a little over a 1/2 mile East of the Hudson River so I am not in any of the evacuation zones. Because I am on the 41st floor I don’t anticipate taping any of my windows.

As I posted yesterday, my main concern is the possibility/probability of a power outage, which, of course, will take out the elevators in my building because we don’t have an emergency generator. You know, somewhere in my memory I recall reading that all high-rise apartment buildings in Manhattan must have emergency generators for this very reason.

I think I will ask the building management about this later.

Anyway, it is going to be a long upcoming 12 hours since the highest winds are expected to be in the very early morning hours.

Whatever comes==>Billi Pod is ready.

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Friday==>Billi Pod Is Alive And Well!!

Good afternoon everyone out there in the vast hinterlands.

Thanks for all of the emails, texts, calls and posts==>yes, Billi Pod is OK. No, I didn’t have a stroke, or get abducted by aliens, or anything as dramatic as that. Bottom-line ... there was soooooo much going on in my life for the past several days that I just couldn’t find the time and/or energy to make a timely posting to this blog.

Yes ... I was almost overwhelmed.

Yes, yes ... I know ... I know ... I recognize my obligations to you loyal and faithful readers to keep you up-to-date on my comings and goings in The Big Apple, The Greatest City In The World, and Billi Pod takes that responsibility seriously, but ... sometimes ... gasp ... even he can’t make Billi Pod sit down in front of his awesome iMac and prepare a timely blog ... so ...

My Bad!! Sorry!! Please forgive me!!

To understand what I mean ... I last posted on Tuesday morning and since that time the following has occurred ...

My grandson Alex is now deployed overseas. He left Ft. Hood at 5:00am CDT on Thursday. Billi Pod was awake and up when he lifted off.

I know a lot more details but I really don’t feel comfortable posting them on the internet, for obvious reasons.

This has been an emotionally draining experience for everyone ... family ... friends ... everyone ...

And ... an earthquake is felt in NYC

And ... the Yankees lose 2 consecutive games to a woeful Oakland team. Billi Pod is at each game.

And ... CC Sabathia, Bartolo Colon and Phil Hughes all have basically sucked.

And ... I had a successful “finger-up-the-butt” appointment, with a new doctor, but for unfathomable reasons the whole process, door-to-door, took almost 5 1/2 hours. PSA 1.5, DRE “everything OK.” Whew!!

And ... yesterday ... the final Oakland game is rain-delayed 90 minutes, the Yankees fall behind 1-7, then bats exploded. We lead 16-7 going into the top of the 8th on grand slams from Cano & Martin. Billi Pod leaves the stadium because he has a show ... then Granderson hits a grand slam, making it 3 for the game, a Major League record. But ... Billi Pod didn’t get to see it ... dammit ... The Yanks win 22-9.

And ... it seriously appears as if Hurricane Irene is going to hit the metropolitan New York area on Sunday. Billi Pod knows what to do and what to stock, so he will be prepared.

Oh ... and ... to add to all of the above, I have had to deal with a credit card fraud issue with one of my major cards, unfortunately, the one I use for almost all of my online payments and stuff.

So, as you loyal and faithful readers can see ... lotta stuff is/was going on in Billi Pod’s world ...

Since the last posting Billi Pod went to one show, on Thursday night ...

8:00==>COMPLETENESS - “How does a computer scientist hook up with a molecular biologist? He blinds her with science, of course.” (Off Broadway - complimentary ticket).

This show is playing in a theater on my block and Billi Pod’s report card is==>A<==very funny, well written and well acted. See it if you can.

The Yankees are in Baltimore for a 5 game series, which includes a makeup game doubleheader on Saturday. Of course, Irene is gonna cause havoc to this schedule. Tonight AJ Burnett aka Loser Boi is on the mound. Well, at least Billi Pod ain’t there in person ...

Tonight’s entertainment event is ...

8:00==>HERMAN KLINE’S MIDLIFE CRISIS - “A prominent New York City doctor, struggling with the tedium of career and marriage, discovers a bag of narcotics on a patient's body.” (Off Broadway - complimentary ticket)

This show has gotten mixed reviews. It is playing at a theater on my block.

Just a few thoughts on Irene ... people here don’t really know what they may be in for ... they think that they are just gonna have rain and gusts in the 40-50s ... rather than sustained winds in the 75-90 mph range. Unless you have been through it, as I have been many times growing up in Florida, there is no way you can describe what a sustained wind of that magnitude can do.

The mass transit system in the city is going to be closed-down sometime on Saturday.

I have batteries, nonperishable food (lots of crackers and peanut butter) and water. All my electronic gizmos will be charged.

My main concern is a sustained power outage because I have learned that this building does not have a generator, meaning ... no elevators and no water ...

Hopefully Irene will remain offshore etc etc etc.

OK, my loyal and faithful readers ... I got things I still need to do ... so ...

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Even Billi Pod Needs Downtime (Sometimes)

Good morning everyone out there in cyberspace.

It is another beautiful morning in The Big Apple, The Greatest City In The World==>63º at 8:30am.

Had a very successful mission out to Yankee Stadium, The House That Greed And Ego Built, yesterday. Got a very good seat for the exchange/rain-out game and a decent nosebleed seat for the free-ticket game.

So, my loyal and faithful readers, this means that Billi Pod now has tickets for 13 of the 17 remaining home games. The final home game is Sunday, September 25th, an afternoon game against the Boston FuckSox and, of course, Billi Pod will be there.

The remainder of yesterday was errands and stuff. I opted not to catch a movie. Instead, Billi Pod had some needed downtime.

Now ... now ... calm down ... even Billi Pod needs some recharge time, now and then. Remember, last week he had 4 consecutive entertainment doubleheaders.

So, what did he do, you are no doubt breathlessly asking? Well, Billi Pod alternated between watching games in the Little League World Series and the FuckSox/Texas game, which the FuckSox lost 4-0. YES!!

Tonight’s entertainment event is ... surprise ... surprise ...

7:05==>YANKEES vs. OAKLAND @ Yankee Stadium, with Bartolo Colon on the mound for The Bronx Bombers.

BREAKING NEWS==>I will close this posting by sharing with you the following back-page headline in The Daily News ...

“THE CURSE OF A.J. - Plagued by Burnett woes, Yanks insist contract won’t influence choice for rotation.”

Some are now speculating that AJ Burnett aka Loser Boi may, in truth and in fact, be==>THE ANTICHRIST!!

Is he? Only time will tell ... so ...

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

Billi Pod Says==>YEAST NATION Is Great!!

Good morning everyone out there in the vast hinterlands.

I hope that all of my Worker Bee friends had a great weekend. Now==>back to work guys & gals! You gotta keep increasing our Gross National Product.

It is a beautiful morning in The Big Apple, The Greatest City In The World. Sunny with azure blue skies with just a few fluffy clouds.

Yes, and today is Billi Pod’s usual errands and stuff day, but ... first ...

Let’s start with Billi Pod’s report card on yesterday’s Fringe Festival show (remember the grading system: G for Good; B for Bad: and ? for “I have no f**king clue”) ...

YEAST NATION==>G<==as in good, make that “great.” Fun. Very well performed. A rock-opera. Roaring sold-out house. Hope it has an Off-Broadway life sometime/somewhere.

As you will recall, the show is by the creators of the surprise Broadway hit “Urinetown.” It is by far the best thing I saw during the festival. It was also my last show.

When the show was over Billi Pod walked part of the way back to PHC while listening to the YANKEE/MINNESOTA TWINS game on his trusty but now ancient Walkman.

The Yankees got another stellar performance from Ivan Nova, winning 3-0. A-Rod was back in the lineup but he went 0-5. The Bronx Bombers were 5 & 2 on this road-trip. Nice!

They have a day-off today and then on Tuesday begin a short 3-game home stand against Oakland.

Speaking of the Yankees==>as soon as I post this brief (hold the f**king applause, dammit, don’t make me come out there and bitch-slap you) posting I will head out to the stadium to get a replacement ticket for one of the rain out games.

Also, early in the season there was a game played in freezing weather and management awarded all ticket-holders to that game a free ticket to another game. Will see what, if anything, is still available for that option. My gut tells me==>not much.

I have no entertainment event scheduled for tonight, so unless something shows up on my ticket services when I get back from the stadium I will definitely catch a movie ... probably the Jessie Eisenberg comedy 30 MINUTES OR LESS.

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”

41 Flights Of Stairs & An Awesome Drama Quadri-header!!

Good morning everyone! Billi Pod is happy to report to you loyal and faithful readers that yesterday’s drama quadri-header was awesome! Yeah, I know ... there is that word again ... awesome ... and a new word ... quadri-header ... so ... I know you are all wondering what I mean, so ... let’s begin with the first part of yesterday’s four-headed drama ...

My afternoon show was at 2:00 and it was playing at a theater next door to my apartment building. I have a mental clock for shows being performed in venues on my block ... I will leave PHC 30 minutes before curtain time. Plenty of time to pick up my ticket etc etc.

So ... at 1:30 I locked the door to PHC and went to the elevator and punched the down button (there ain’t no “up” button) and waited and waited and waited ... nothing from the 2 regular elevators and 1 service elevator. 10+ minutes passed ... WTF!! Something was wrong. Damn, I also discovered I didn’t have the front desk number programmed into my iPhone. WTF!!

What to do? Should I continue waiting? What? The clock was ticking ... Billi Pod took a deep breath and decided to walk down the 41 flights of stairs. So, down he went ... damn ... 41 stories is a lot ... don’t remember if I have ever walked down this many flights before ...

Along the way I was joined by other tenants. We were all pissed. It took about 8 minutes to reach the lobby. Surprisingly my legs/knees didn’t feel bad. Hummmmmmm ... 41 flights of stairs ... 77 years old ... sounds like ... maybe ... Super-Hero ... anyway ...

Had a brief conversation with the guy on duty at the front desk. He said the freight elevator was in use moving someone in and that the computer on the other two elevators had malfunctioned. Help was on the way.

Raced over to the theater, picked up my ticket and settled into my seat 5 minutes before curtain time. Whew!!

Now, Billi Pod’s report card on his second drama ...

THE PRETTY TRAP==>A<==acting spot-on. Story line a harbinger of things to come in Tennessee Williams’ career. Did you know that he wrote over 70 one-act plays, many of which were later turned into well-known full length plays?

When the show was over I scrapped any notion of a walk-and-wander afternoon and came back to PHC. All three elevators were operational. Whew!! Just chilled until it was time for my third drama event.

The third drama was also in a theater next door to my building.

EINSTEIN AND MILEVA==>A<==again terrific acting. Learned probably more than I wanted/needed to know about a young Albert Einstein. Question==>why does it seem like 95% of all geniuses are assholes in real life?

This show is really interesting and worth seeing. It runs through September 3rd.

And now the fourth drama, which was ... tada ...

AJ Burnett aka Loser Boi, tanking after only 1 2/3 innings against The Twins, giving up 7 runs on 5 hits and 3 walks. Loser Boi barked “bullshit” as Girardi pulled him from the game.

When he got to the dugout he went immediately into the clubhouse rather than remain in the dugout until the inning was over, as mandated by one of baseball’s unwritten rules. Girardi went into the clubhouse and brought him back.

Now, the real drama/bullshit ... in interviews after the game both Girardi and Loser Boi said that the press was wrong, that there was/is no problem between them and that the whole thing has been blown out of proportion.

To which Billi Pod says==>Bullshit!!

Man, when will management have the balls to admit that Loser Boi needs to be sent away ... far far away. Yes, Billi Pod still thinks Loser Boi is on the Boston FuckSox payroll.

Anyway ... I think you loyal and faithful readers will agree that it was an interesting day for Billi Pod in The Big Apple, The Greatest City In The World.

Today is my final Fringe Festival show ...

2:15==>THE YEAST - “From the writers of Urinetown! In 3,000,458,000 B.C., the first creatures ever-- the yeasts-- discover a force called ‘love,’ changing the course of history. A hilarious Greek tragedy/Shakespearean drama/rock musical where everyone's named Jan ("yahn").” (Fringe Festival - full price ticket)

This really sounds like fun, doesn’t it.

Not sure what I will do this evening. May just chill because after my afternoon show Billi Pod will have seen/attended 11 entertainment events in the past 7 days. He might just need a bit of downtime ... who knows ... we will see ...

GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!

Billi Pod

“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”