Yes, my loyal and faithful readers out there in the vast hinterlands known as cyberspace==>all is well in The Yankee Universe.
Yesterday, The Yankees took both games of the doubleheader with The Rays, 4-2 and 4-2, the second on a clutch pinch hit by Jorge Posada in the bottom of the 8th. How fitting and how dramatic that the hit came from one of the Core-Four.
With these two wins and The FuckSox loss to The Orioles The Yankees win the American League East. The battle for the Wild Card continues between The FuckSox and The Rays. Hopefully The FuckSox will continue their downward spiral into Hell.
We will continue to play to win because we want to have the best record in the American League in order to have homefield advantage for all of the playoff games. The National League team will have homefield advantage for The World Series because the NL won The All-Star Game.
Billi Pod was at the first game but not the night game. Luckily, the night game was briefly rain-delayed and that permitted him to be back in PHC, after his show, in time to watch the final 3 innings and to subsequently bask in the realization that we are one step closer to winning our 28th World Series Championship.
Had a rather interesting but different experience at the game that I would like to share with you loyal and faithful readers ...
Setup (done in the present tense) ... I am not in my usual seat but am in a better one closer to home plate, as a result of a ticket exchange early in the season. Seated to my left is a VERY obese couple, Jabba and Judda The Hut ... this is Judda’s picture. She must have weighed 350 pounds, most of it flab. They both look really gross. Fortunately for me there is an empty seat between us.
Seated to my right is a late 30s couple with their 2 year old son, who is attending his first Yankee game. The couple has taken up 4 seats with their stroller, multiple totes, bags, baby gear and stuff. The baby is very cute but also very rambunctious. Mama holds him as he stands in her lap jumping up and down and squealing. This does not please the couple seated directly behind them.
In the middle of the 5th inning Judda gets up and starts moving to her right in an attempt to leave the row. I practically have to stand on my seat to give her room to get past me. Mama and Daddy are not happy that they have to stand up and actually leave their seats to let Judda get by.
She does, in fact, make it to the aisle. Hostile looks and words are exchanged. We settle back in. Baby keeps squealing and jumping up and down.
Time passes. Then I hear ... “sorry, but we are not leaving our seats” from Daddy directed at Judda, who has returned carrying one of those cardboard trays filled with stuff, including two large cups of beer.
Everyone stands and Judda starts inching her way in. She is facing Mama and Daddy. Her immense butt is engulfing the poor guys in the row in front - they either lean forward or stand up. It is all I can do to keep from laughing.
Then ... OMFG!! Judda looses her balance, leans back and then tips forward and as she does both of the cups of beer fall over and totally drench Baby and Mama, who screams ... “you fucking cunt.”
Jabba, who has been watching all of this develop, waddles in front of me and reaches for Judda and in the process he too looses his balance and he and Judda fall on top of me and Mama. I am pinned to my seat by a ton of quaking flab. Beer and food have flown everywhere.
I think to myself ... “you know, self, you may actually die under here.” Not joking, I actually thought that. Screaming, yelling, flailing flesh. Baby is wailing. Back row guy is yelling at Mama ... “you deserve it bitch - it’s your fucking fault.”
Billi Pod is thinking==>Help me God - I am being smothered by a ton of flab.
Yes, Help me God works!! Apparently security had been alerted to the possibility of trouble because they are on the scene in a nanosecond. I don’t know if any blows were exchanged. They haul Jabba, Judda, Mama, Daddy and screaming and soaking Baby away. Billi Pod is actually in a fetal position in his seat. He is, thankfully, totally dry. People applaud. A cleanup crew mops the whole area. We settle back in. Back row guy is actually giving high-fives to everyone around him.
When security officials come back to get statements from us about what had happened everyone, including Billi Pod, basically says the same thing ... “I don’t know what happened ... I didn’t see anything because I was watching the game.”
Yeah, I know it was way too long, but, folks, it was one of those “Only in New York Experiences” that Billi Pod is obligated to share with you loyal and faithful readers.
Now, on to other things ... like ...
Billi Pod’s report card on last night’s KITHLESS IN PARADISE==>C<==too much boozing, screaming and cursing. I really didn’t care about any of the characters.
It also follows the usual theater credo that every married person must cheat on his/her spouse. So trite. I mean, everyone knows it happens, so why devote so much entertainment energy into it? Jus sayin’
Billi Pod’s entertainment event for this evening is ...
8:00==>DALLY WITH THE DEVIL - “Focuses on three women immersed in political intrigue: power plays, blackmail, and plenty of media spin…it's politics as usual.” (Off Broadway - complimentary ticket)
This is playing at a theater on my block.
Let me close this posting with==>Way to go Jorge. The Yankees Rule!!
GO YANKEES AND GO GATORS!!
Billi Pod
“Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.”
ALEX-29
