Well, my loyal and faithful readers, thanks to the genealogy efforts of my dear friend, retired District Court of Appeals Judge Gilbert Goshorn of Gainesville, FL, you can now respond in an intellectual way. This is what his former Honor reported to me in an email this afternoon (and you know whatever a former his Honor reports MUST be true): “Jack Schitt is the only son of Awe Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt, Inc. They had one son, Jack.
In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. The deeply religious couple produced six children: Holie Schitt, Giva Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parents' objections, Deep Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school dropout. After being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock, and because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She was then known as Noe Schitt Sherlock.
Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt, and they produced a son with a rather nervous disposition named Chicken Schitt.
Two of the other six children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony. The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens nuptials. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Horse.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.” source: Crock O. Schitt
Now, my faithful and loyal readers, when someone says, “You don't know Jack Schitt,” you can correct them, thanks to the selfless efforts of Gilbert Goshorn. Thank you, your former Honor.
I only report - you decide.
Go Gators!!
Billi Pod
wanjr@aol.com
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